Unbreakable
by Urban Scrawl
Summary: Shepard and Kaidan didn't expect to find something special with each other...but things become complicated as old lovers emerge and return back into their lives.
1. Chapter 1

Starting a new story even though I have a couple that are sitting unfinished...I am so weak. =3

As always, comments are always appreciated! ^_^

Bioware owns all.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Pain.

A dull drumming feeling that was slowly escalating up in intensity. He was all too familiar with what was coming. The pain would soon become like jagged spikes of lightning against his skull, and they would continue until the migraine would tire itself out in the next several hours.

With all the incredible advances in medicine, it was a damned annoying shame that nothing could solve the problem he had with his L2 biotic implants. The most the doctors could do for him was to adjust the implants to keep his senses clear when the migraines hit, which was great for the military since he can keep himself focused during a fight. The bad part was that every single one of his senses was assaulted with the god-awful pain and all he could do was suffer through it.

The timing of this migraine attack couldn't be worse. He was simply lying in bed and chatting with his friends about where they were going to spend the evening. Alliance Command was shipping them off in the Normandy the next morning and they graciously granted the men a night off to relax and enjoy Vancouver. He was in the middle of suggesting that they go to a bar he knew of until the first bolt of white hot pain burned through his head.

He jumped up from his bunk and grabbed a laundry basket, filling it with random pieces of his clothing, dirty or clean. His bunkmate gave him a look. "Uh oh, looks like Kaidan Alenko suddenly has another bout of O.C.D."

"Ha…very funny, Jenkins." He replied, trying not to wince from the pain.

"What's going on, Kaidan?" One of the other soldiers asked.

Jenkins waved off the soldier's concern. "Don't worry about it. He always does this. Just randomly goes through this fit of doing some kind of chore like the world was going to end."

He couldn't tell anybody about his condition. Even though they were friends, they were still Alliance military. They would react by either relentlessly tormenting him or even worse…give him pity. Only a select few of his commanding officers knew about the migraine attacks due to their access to his medical history. Whenever he was assigned to a new squad, he always informed the officers about how this pain would not affect his performance and requested that they keep the condition from his fellow soldiers.

And if this meant that everyone thought he was just an oddball with a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder, so be it. Special treatment was the last thing he wanted.

"Come on, man. Your cleaning can wait tonight. This is our last night on Earth before we head on over to Eden Prime."

Kaidan stuffed his socks into the basket and shook his head. "Sorry guys, not tonight. Just got a lot of preparing to do before we leave."

"You can prepare in the morning. Let's go out and get shit faced tonight. After all, this is your hometown, isn't it? Come on!" Jenkins said.

Kaidan was sorely tempted to do just that. But he knew better. Going out with the guys meant a night of dealing with loud pounding music and bright strobe lights in the bars and clubs. Which meant the pain would be aggravated worse and it would be impossible for him to have a good time.

"I might join you guys later." He said, sincerely hoping it to be true. "But I'm going to have to do this now."

His friends groaned in protest but Kaidan gave them a shrug and quickly left the room with the laundry basket in his arms.

As he hastily headed towards the laundry room, he cursed to himself. Jenkins was right...Vancouver was his hometown. He should be spending it on the streets with his friends, not hiding himself in some random hole to wait out his pain.

He opened the door to the room and flicked on the light switch. The small overhead light flickered on and dimly lit up the area. He closed the door behind him and allowed himself to let out a sigh of relief. He had the room to himself again. No matter where he was stationed, the laundry area was always his best place to wait out a migraine attack. They were always poorly lit, empty of people, and the soft hum of the washing machines was a calming sound.

Kaidan threw his laundry basket to the floor and slammed his back against one of the machines as he felt another sharp spike of pain. He slowly sank to the floor and slowed his breaths.

_Relax…deep breaths…it'll be over soon…_

A sudden sound from the closet across the room interrupted his meditation. Kaidan scrambled to his feet and instinctively reached for his gun. He realized he didn't have his holster and swore in frustration.

"Who's there?" He demanded as he slowly approached the closet.

The closet door swung open and Kaidan froze at the sight he saw before him. A woman with dark tousled hair was burrowed in the middle of a nest made of clean bed sheets. She was wearing her Alliance uniform, the top unbuttoned revealing a white tank top underneath. In her hand was an open bottle of whiskey. She lifted her sea green eyes to meet his. "Quiet, can't you see I'm trying to get some rest in here?" She gestured to her makeshift cocoon.

"Uh…sorry?" Kaidan was at a loss of words. The woman was an Alliance soldier, but he didn't recall seeing her anywhere around the base in the past several weeks he'd been stationed in Vancouver.

The mystery woman leaned her head back into the pile of linens. "It's fine. Just close the door on your way out."

"Who are-" His sentence was interrupted by the sound of harried voices coming from the hallway.

"Shit." The woman cursed and then gave Kaidan a sharp glare. "Don't you dare tell them where I am." Before he could reply, she closed the closet door on herself.

A base staff commander burst into the laundry room with two of his officers. Kaidan immediately stood up straight in salute. "Soldier! Have you seen Commander Shepard around here?" He barked.

Commander Shepard? The hero from Akuze? The woman in the closet? It couldn't be…

"Uh…no, sir." He shook his head.

"If you find her, inform us immediately!" The commander ordered and briskly stomped out with his men.

After several seconds of silence, the closet door slowly opened again. "Thanks."

"You're Commander Shepard? _The_ Commander Shepard?" Kaidan asked in disbelief.

"That would be me." She replied lazily and pointed the bottle of whiskey in his direction. "And you are…?"

Kaidan stood attention to salute again. "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko…uh…Commander."

Shepard waved off his formality. "At ease, lieutenant. In this laundry room, there's no need for titles. Okay, Alenko?"

Kaidan relaxed. "Uh, okay…um…ma'am."

Shepard sighed at his polite tone but decided to drop it. She took another sip from the bottle and offered it to Kaidan. "Want some?"

He shook his head. "No thanks…may I ask what you're doing in here?"

"I just needed some time for myself…and my friend, Mr. Royal." She gave the whiskey bottle a slight shake.

"I guess that's an explanat…ah!" Kaidan's face grimaced at the sharp pang of pain that sliced through his brain. He began to lose his footing and had to sink down to the floor. It was intense enough to take his breath away.

Shepard quickly put the bottle down and crawled out of the closet to take hold of Kaidan's arm. "Whoa. Alenko, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "It's just…ah…I overworked myself during training drills today and…"

"You're an L2 Biotic?" Shepard asked, her voice suddenly sober.

Kaidan was shocked at her observation and looked at her with confusion. "Yeah…I am. How did you-"

"Hold on." Shepard sat back on her feet and reached inside the breast pocket of her shirt. She took out a syringe and deftly uncapped the needle. "Hold still." She ordered. She took hold of his wrist and injected the serum into the vein above his forearm.

"What's this?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt a sudden surge of euphoric numbness replacing the stabbing pain. "Ah...pain killer."

"Specifically for pain caused by biotic implants." Shepard nodded.

Kaidan sat back against a wall and closed his eyes, relishing in the sudden relief. It was a welcome and familiar feeling that he felt only after his field medic administered medication before an assignment. He opened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrow. "The military doesn't give me this medicine unless I'm on a mission."

"For a good reason." Shepard quickly bent the needle and tossed it into the nearby trash can. "The stuff is narcotic. Obviously brass doesn't want to turn what few human biotics they have into junkies."

"Why did you have this on you?"

Shepard sat down and picked up the bottle of whiskey she had set aside. "I always carry some of this stuff on me. I have special permission because my former squad had a biotic with L2 implants. She didn't get migraines often, but when she did, it was pretty damned awful."

"Was she part of your squad on Akuze?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah." Shepard took a long swig from her bottle.

After a moment of silence, Kaidan spoke again. "So…why are really you hiding from the staff commander? It can't be just because you needed a drink. He looked pretty desperate."

Shepard swallowed down the whiskey and let out an exasperated breath. "They carted me here so I can give a speech to some new recruits about my valiant exploits. Then they're going to give me another useless plaque or medal. Same song and dance routine for the past several months."

Kaidan was surprised by her statement. Shepard's achievements were well known throughout the military. The Alliance basically uses her as a poster child for recruitment propos ever since the infamous incident on Akuze where she single handedly took down a thresher maw. "But…you're a hero."

"Hero." Shepard snorted. "There's no reason for the Alliance to consider me more than that. I'm just a survivor. Not a hero."

Kaidan mulled over her reply. "To be honest, you just saved me from that killer migraine attack. You're a hero to me." He said depreciatingly.

Shepard looked at him with a raised eyebrow for a moment and then rewarded him with a laugh. Kaidan smiled. He didn't expect Commander Shepard to have such amiable laugh. He liked the sound of it.

"I guess I'm glad I've impressed someone." She gave him a genuine smile. Kaidan noticed she had dimples. He didn't expect that either.

Shepard held out the bottle of whiskey again. "Now that your migraine is gone, are you sure you don't want a drink?"

He hesitated but then reached for the bottle. "What the hell. I'll be leaving Earth for a while." He took a swig of the whiskey and savored the taste before swallowing it down. "Smooth."

Shepard chuckled. "You don't look like the type that appreciates a good drink, Alenko. No offense."

"None taken." Kaidan turned the bottle in his hand to read the label. "Nice. An extra rare series, aged to perfection, brewed on Earth. This must have cost you a fortune."

"It cost Admiral Hackett a fortune." She corrected him and took back the whiskey to take another sip.

"You stole that from Admiral Hackett?"

"Well, he shouldn't have left it just lying around inside his desk drawer if he didn't want someone to snatch it." She said coyly. "Oh, stop looking so guilty. Hackett owes me for coming all the way here to do a special mission for him anyway."

"Talking to the new recruits?" Kaidan said sarcastically.

"After that, smart guy." Shepard passed the bottle back. "Tomorrow I'll be leaving on the Normandy under Captain Anderson's command."

Kaidan took another drink. "No kidding. I'll be leaving on the Normandy too. Is it for the mission to Eden Prime?"

"Something like that. I'm just assigned to escort a council Spectre. Apparently the Normandy is going to help get him over to Eden Prime...for whatever reason."

"Huh. That seems a little…underneath your abilities."

Shepard shrugged. "I can think of a lot of things I'd much rather be doing than giving another speech."

"Like getting drunk on stolen whiskey?" He grinned and swirled the bottle in front of Shepard's face.

She took the bottle from his hand. "More like getting drunk on stolen whiskey _with_ a hot lieutenant."

Kaidan flushed from her comment and let out a cough of embarrassment. Shepard laughed again. "Your ears are turning red. You're getting cuter by the second, Alenko."

"Very funny, Shepard." Kaidan shifted his gaze away.

Shepard leaned close to him. He felt the blood rush from his head as she seductively tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You know…here we are in this empty laundry room, the last night before we ship out. How about you…" She tapped the bottle neck on his chest. "And me…" Then tapped it on her breast. "Make this a memorable night?."

He was speechless. "I…I…" He stammered.

Shepard threw her head back and laughed. She gave him a good-natured slap on the arm and wiped away a tear. "I'm just fucking with you, Alenko. God, you're so adorable."

He let out the breath he was holding in and chuckled nervously. "Good one, Shepard."

"Don't worry. You can go back to Mrs. Alenko with a clean conscience." She smiled.

"Uh, there is no Mrs. Alenko…"

Shepard's look of amusement was replaced by one of skepticism. "Really? What about a girlfriend?"

"None."

"Boyfriend?"

"What? No!"

"Oh…" She laughed uneasily. "Sorry, Alenko. The reason why I assumed was…well, it's my curse."

"Your curse?" He asked, confused.

"Every time I find a hot guy, he's always either married, taken, or plays for the other side." She explained.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm none of those."

Shepard tilted her head and focused on his face. Kaidan couldn't help noticing the green in her eyes had the dreamy color of sea foam.

"Huh. Maybe my offer can be serious, after all." She smiled.

At first he thought she was joking again, but before he could reply, the door to the laundry room swung open. An imposing figure strode in and closed the door behind him. Kaidan scrambled to his feet to salute his superior officer. Shepard remained on the floor, but brought her hand to her forehead in mock salute. "Anderson! Nice of you to join us!"

Captain David Anderson let out an exasperated sigh. "At ease, Lieutenant Alenko. Shepard, do you have any idea how many people are combing the base searching for you?"

Shepard simply shrugged her shoulders and Anderson huffed in frustration again. "The base commander had to interrupt a very important conference I was having with the Alliance ambassadors to inform me that I would have to play hide and seek with my protégé."

"And look how fast you've found me. You know me so well, my Captain." Shepard smiled and held up the bottle of whiskey. "Want a drink?"

Anderson narrowed his eyes. "Is that Admiral Hackett's special bottle of Crown he keeps locked in his desk?"

"We'll tell him we used it for a special toast in his honor."

Anderson rolled his eyes and turned to Kaidan. "She's an amazing soldier but a bad influence, lieutenant. You may want to keep your distance."

"Uh…yes, sir." Kaidan nodded, hoping the Captain didn't notice the smell of whiskey on his breath.

"That hurts my feelings, Anderson." Shepard slowly rose to her feet, brushing the dust off her pants. "Maybe this is just my way of getting your attention because I don't see my mentor enough."

Anderson finally gave a snort of amusement. "Do you need time to sober up or will you be okay in fifteen minutes?"

"If you think this is what it takes to make me drunk, I guess you don't know me very well after all." She handed him the bottle. "I guess I'll change and head on over to accept another certificate or a baked ham for this pointless ceremony."

"If they give you a ham, I expect you to share that with Admiral Hackett to make things even." Anderson opened the door for her.

"Hackett can have my first born child if it means I never have to do another one of these ceremonies ever again. See you later, Anderson." She turned to Kaidan and gave him a wink. "Alenko."

Kaidan tried not to grin like an idiot.

When she left the laundry room, Anderson rubbed the back of his neck. "What am I going to do with her?" He muttered.

"I take it that you know the Commander very well, Captain?" Kaidan asked.

"I do. Do you know where Shepard came from, lieutenant?"

Kaidan knew there were two stories of Shepard's origins. The official Alliance story and the one spread through gossip. The Alliance omitted the gruesome details and liked to push the image of Shepard joining the military out of duty to protect the other colonists from the dangers of the universe. It was a grand and patriotic image that they used in recruitment propos. The story off-the-record was…

"I've heard that Shepard's colony on Mindoir was attacked by batarians…" He began carefully. "Her family was killed and she was captured to be sold as a slave. And she was rescued by an Alliance patrol ship…led by you, captain."

"That's right. It was by coincidence that I was on that ship at the time. We were able to take over a batarian vessel that had over a hundred human slaves hidden in their lower decks. That's where I found her." Anderson slowly smiled at the memory. "Amongst the crying dregs of hysterical people, there she was. Only sixteen and she was playing medic to the injured. When we uncovered the hidden area, she was about to attack us with a pipe she had wrenched off the wall."

"And you helped her join the Alliance and you've been watching out for her ever since." Kaidan finished for him.

"Close. She joined the Alliance on her own." Anderson corrected. He then turned his steely gaze at Kaidan. "Do you know why I'm telling you all this, lieutenant?"

Kaidan shook his head. "No, sir."

Anderson leaned in. "Shepard is like a daughter to me. And I like you, Lieutenant Alenko. So let me tell you something else. I overheard a little of your conversation. If you end up taking this farther and screw up, the biggest thing you're going to worry about isn't going to be a mission against the batarians or the geth, it's going to be my boot up your ass. Is that clear?"

"Y…yes, sir." Kaidan felt a lump in his throat.

"Good." Anderson gave him a hard slap on the back. "Now why don't you go out and have some fun. We're leaving on the Normandy first thing tomorrow morning. Don't want to leave you behind now, do we?" Anderson grinned and left the room while taking a long drink from the stolen whiskey Shepard had handed him.

Alone with the washing machines, Kaidan allowed himself to lean against one to take several deep breaths.

So far, he had a migraine attack, found Commander Shepard hiding inside a closet, drank Admiral Hackett's stolen whiskey, had a confusing flirtatious encounter, and his captain had threatened him with a boot up his ass.

"Have some fun. _Right_." He murmured, wiping the sweat off his brow.


	2. Chapter 2

**C****hapter 2**

"Are we there yet?" Jenkins complained.

"Don't make me stop at the next fuel depot and leave you there." Joker replied, keeping his eyes on the navigation panel.

"Careful, Jenkins. When Joker threatens something like that, he usually means it." Kaidan chuckled, sitting in the co-pilot's seat.

Jenkins leaned against Kaidan's chair. "I can't wait until we get to Eden Prime so we can unload that Spectre. He's a damned picky customer. I saw him grilling Engineer Adams about the output efficiency of the Normandy's mass effect drive."

Kaidan silently agreed with his friend. Turians were known to be difficult, but Spectre Nihilus was even more of a demanding hardass than most.

"Yeah, the guy tried to come here and instruct me on proper maneuver patterns in case if we encounter a merc pirate ship. What a douche. As if the best pilot in the damned Alliance would just crash the ship just cause." Joker muttered.

"Yeah, I found him arguing with Captain Anderson a few times. He's got everyone walking on eggshells." Kaidan commented.

"Everyone except Shepard." Joker noted.

Kaidan smiled to himself. Apparently the only person on board that wasn't trying to avoid Nihilus was none other than Commander Shepard. He assumed that Shepard's easy going attitude was going to clash with the Spectre's aggressive one. But within five minutes of meeting each other, they were sharing a good laugh and making promises of a friendly sparring match to see which of them had the better hand-to-hand combat skills.

Shepard seemed to get along with everyone. The morning after the night in the laundry room, she had greeted him with a simple, "Nice to see you again, Alenko." and was just as friendly with him as he was with the rest of the Normandy crew.

Yup. Friendly.

"Speaking of Shepard…" Jenkins lowered his voice and leaned between the two pilot seats. "I honestly wasn't expecting her to be so...female."

Joker snorted. "What were you expecting? It's Commander _Jane_ Shepard."

"Uh, yeah…she's pretty nice." Kaidan tried to sound nonchalant. He hadn't told anyone about the night before they left Earth and the bottle of whiskey he had shared with her on that laundry room floor. Kaidan tried not to think about her seductive proposition. Even if it was a joke, her sea green eyes caused him to lie awake in his bunk for the past few nights.

"The way the Alliance recruitment ads spin her, I was expecting some seven foot tall eunuch with bulked up arms and a face that could peel paint."

"Yeah…she's…uh…definitely female."

Jenkins grinned stupidly. "The Alliance should've used her photos in those recruitment posters. I bet that would have every guy lining up for a chance to hit that."

"Unfortunately for the Alliance, I turned down all the photo shoots. I have enough creepy stalkers as it is, let alone having to deal with more of them enlisting into the military."

The voice made all three men jump in surprise. They turned to see Shepard standing behind them, trying to stifle a smile.

Jenkins leapt to his feet in salute. "Commander! I was…uh…"

"I had nothing to do with that conversation, Commander." Joker quickly said and returned his eyes to his panel. Jenkins shot him a look as if he were Judas.

Kaidan cleared his throat. "Jenkins tends to speak before his brain processes his words…ma'am."

Shepard waved them off with a laugh. "Everyone relax." She gave Jenkins a light smack on his stomach with the back of her hand. "Take a breath, soldier. I'm not going to kick your ass for calling me a female."

Jenkins lowered his salute and slackened his stance. "Sorry, Commander. I was just…"

"Don't worry, Jenkins." Shepard smiled. "It's a compliment. I've been called worse, trust me." She then turned to Joker. "How much longer until we arrive at Eden Prime?"

"We should get there in another few hours. The squad stationed on Eden Prime is expected to report in any minute now."

"Thank God. The sooner I can escort Nihilus onto the planet, the sooner I can get myself some decent sleep." She sighed.

"You've been losing sleep over the spectre, Commander?" Kaidan asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Ever since we picked him up, he's been insisting on my company. The guy doesn't sleep for more than a few hours per night. We've been in the briefing room, speaking about our old missions and war strategies." She shook her head. "I know turians love their military, but Nihilus is just obsessed with it. I've been running on stims and caffeine this whole time."

"Sounds rough." Kaidan empathized. He noticed that even though her eyes were sharp, they had dark circles under them. "Is he sleeping right now?"

"Doctor Chakwas is buying me an hour of me time by humoring his inspection of our med bay. That woman is a frickin saint." Shepard said. "And speaking of caffeine, I'm going to get myself my 500th cup from the mess hall. Anyone want some?"

Joker and Jenkins shook their heads. Kaidan closed his panel and stood up. "I'll come with you. I just finished up the requisition reports. I think I'll have some lunch."

"Let's go. Oh, and Jenkins…" Shepard turned to the soldier who jumped at the mention of his name. "I'll put in a recommendation for the Alliance to use _your_ likeness on the recruitment posters. I think the military could benefit from recruiting a bunch of ladies who go for a cute face."

"Uh…I…" Jenkins sputtered and turned beet red. Shepard laughed and gave his cheek a pat. She walked off with Kaidan trailing quietly behind her.

Kaidan's brow furrowed as he wondered about what that exchange was about. Did she know the effect she had on people, considering he had been thinking about her every night since then? From what she had done with Jenkins, he wondered if he was just over thinking her advances that night. Maybe Shepard was simply a flirt.

Kaidan shook the thought out of his head. He was probably right. Shepard is most likely the type that doesn't think much about suggestive comments. He observed her figure as he walked behind her. It was obvious that she had luscious curves under the Alliance jumpsuit. Her sable colored hair fell right to her chin and swayed with each step she took. His eyes lingered on the nape of her neck and he wondered how a battle worn soldier could have skin the color of peaches and cream. He supposed it was healthy to have appreciation for another woman's appeal.

He hadn't even considered another woman since Rahna…

"I like your friends, Alenko." Shepard interrupted his thoughts as they climbed into the elevator. "They must keep you entertained all the time."

"Uh…yeah." He replied. The elevator doors closed and it advanced slowly to the crew deck.

"Jenkins is a riot. I should talk to him more often."

_It wouldn't hurt to ask_, he thought. "Is Jenkins your type of guy, Commander?"

"What? What makes you say that?" She laughed.

"Well you did just flirt with him…a little…back there."

The elevator continued to slowly creak down to its destination. Shepard looked at Kaidan and lifted an eyebrow. "Flirting? That was just us joking around, Alenko."

"Ah, I see." Kaidan nodded. "Understood, Commander."

The elevator doors opened and Kaidan moved to step out. "Wait." Shepard ordered and punched the button to close the doors. She turned to Kaidan and put her hands on her hips. "What was that question about, Alenko?"

Kaidain shifted uncomfortably. "I was just curious if you were really interested in Jenkins or if you were just…playing around."

"You thought I was serious?"

"Well…your words could be taken seriously…by Jenkins, I mean." He quickly added.

"_Jenkins_." She repeated.

"Yes, Commander."

She stared at him for a few moments until he turned his gaze to the ceiling. Shepard sighed pushed the button to open the elevator doors. "All right. If that's all it was about, I'll drop it."

Kaidan nodded. So Shepard doesn't think much of her flirtatious comments. She obviously forgot about what they were talking about on that laundry room floor. He was simply over thinking again. It was fine. Perfectly fine.

Shepard stepped out of the elevator first and spun around on her heel. "Just to let you know, Alenko…the offer I gave you a few nights ago. It's serious if you want it to be." She gave him a leisurely smile and turned to head towards the mess area. Kaidan remained in the elevator, frozen by her words.

The elevator doors slowly closed.

* * *

She let out a lusty sigh as she gazed inside her closet, looking for something suitable to wear.

All the clothes she owned looked too tacky, too passé, too…_old_. And it was obvious as to why. It's been two weeks since she last visited the boutiques on the Citadel. Her father was the one who suggested she hold back on the spending until the elections were over. After all, it doesn't look good to the lower-class voters if the daughter of a high-ranking politician spent more money on trinkets every week than most of them made in an entire year.

She huffed indignantly and slammed her closet door shut. Perhaps if she just went out right now and strut around in nothing but her underwear maybe that would appease the stupid voters.

She slowly walked over to her huge bed and fell into the downy comforters. She turned her head and stared out her windows. Her penthouse had one of the best views on the Citadel and yet she was still discontent with what she saw.

Boredom was _so_ difficult to fight off nowadays. Her current lover was an asari diplomat, but she was constantly off to different parts of the galaxy because of her job. She would have to end things with her soon. It wasn't that she didn't know how to keep herself satisfied with others-there were plenty of discreet consorts for that sort of thing-but recently the asari had been going on and on about starting a family.

Yes, she definitely has to let this one go soon.

Her father didn't know about the asari anyway. She made sure that he wouldn't know about the various different races she had taken on as lovers over the past several years. The man was a huge advocate for a humans-first movement. She knew her father selfishly wanted her to get married to a human male as soon as she could. How else could she continue his legacy if she was his only child?

But having to be restricted to one man for the rest of her life? It was such a waste. She was at the prime of her life, why shouldn't she be entitled to have as much fun as she can?

She needed something to kill her boredom now. Something to make life fun again. Maybe she can ask Sha'ira if she knew of any new and interesting clients she could refer her to.

There was the sound of a bell chime at her door. The doors swished open and her quarian maid meekly stepped in. "I'm here to clean your rooms, ma'am."

She tossed her head in annoyance, her dark curls shifting beautifully across her naked shoulders. "Fine. Did you prepare my afternoon bath?"

"The bath is drawn and ready for you."

"Then help me with my clothes."

The maid quickly went to the closet that her mistress had slammed shut just moments earlier. "What do you feel like wearing today, ma'am?"

"I think I'll wear one of the silk dresses today."

"The red one or the blue one?"

"Which do you think I should wear?"

"The blue one is quite pretty."

"Then I'll wear the red." She stated, slinking out of bed.

The quarian maid held out the dress to her and she snatched it from her maid's hands. She headed for the bathroom and looked over her shoulder. "I think I'm going to head over to the spa today. If my father calls, tell him I'm out at the human embassies for business."

The maid inclined her head at her retreating mistress. "Yes, Miss Rahna."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Eden Prime wasn't supposed to be a complicated mission. Anderson's squad was simply supposed to get information on an excavated prothean structure. She was simply supposed to escort Nihilus to the planet. How something so straightforward could blow up into an absolute clusterfuck was beyond her.

Hundreds of people were dead on Eden Prime and her brain was fried from a prothean beacon.

Not a good day.

And Nihilus had to go and get himself killed. The one who would've had any knowledge about what the hell was going on was now dead and now everyone was stuck pawing around in the dark.

On the positive side, the gunnery chief they rescued down on Eden Prime could hold her own in a firefight. Ashley Williams was hard, abrasive, and would put a gun in your face before you can say an 'excuse me'.

She liked her.

The Normandy was now on its way to the Citadel. Anderson was being evasive on the reason why they were being summoned to the Council. Maybe they wanted her to answer to them for allowing one of their Spectres to die.

It would be a few hours until they arrive at their destination. It's been over two days since she got some rest. Her body was still jittery from all the stims she had injected into her system. She decided to go down to the med bay and see if Doctor Chakwas had anything that could counter the uppers in her body.

The doors to the medical room swished open as she approached them. The lights had been switched off and the only source of illumination was coming from the Doctor's computer panel on the far side of the wall. She stepped inside and the doors quickly shut behind her. The med bay appeared to be empty.

"Doctor Chakwas?" She called out.

"She's not here."

Shepard jumped at the response and looked around for the source. In the corner of the room behind a counter, was Kaidan, who was sitting against the wall and slouching over his drawn up knees.

"Alenko!" Shepard quickly stepped up to the lieutenant and kneeled down beside him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just another migraine attack." His eyes were squeezed shut, fighting off the pain. "Doctor Chakwas is down on the engineering deck, checking up on the new gunnery chief."

"Oh no. Don't worry, I have some pain killer right here." Shepard reached into her breast pocket.

Kaidan's hand shot out and grabbed Shepard's wrist. She paused as he shook his head vigorously at her. "No pain killer. I'm fine. I just want to wait this out."

Shepard hesitated but then gave a reluctant nod. "All right. But say the word when it gets unbearable." She sat herself beside him so they were shoulder to shoulder.

"I will." He lifted his head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling.

Together they sat in the dark in comfortable silence. The computer panel on the wall across from them continued to glow softly, covering them in a faint blue light.

"Doctor Chakwas told me that your migraines weren't frequent." She murmured.

"They're not. Two migraines within a week are rare." He replied. "It's probably from…everything that's happened."

"Yeah. I'm sorry about Jenkins. He was a good guy." She said softly.

Kaidan continued to stare up at the ceiling. "Yeah, he was. A lot of people are going to miss him. I know this is all part of being in the military, but…"

"It still sucks." Shepard finished for him.

"That's a very PG way of saying it." Kaidan gave a short laugh. "He was a good soldier and an even better friend."

"Sorry if this offends you, but…you're taking his death really well." Shepard said quietly.

Kaidan turned to her with a small smile. "Jenkins and I already spoke about this kind of thing…you know, if one of us survived the other. He told me no mourning, no crying, and no suicidal thoughts. As soon as I get back to the Citadel, I'm going to give him a soldier's toast and drink down a mug of lager in his honor. If I was the one who died back on Eden's Prime, I'd be pissed off if he mourned me by living with pointless guilt for the rest of his life."

Shepard felt a twinge of jealousy. She recalled how she felt after her entire squad was killed by the thresher maw on Akuze. She cursed the Alliance, the Council-hell…the entire galaxy. Most of all, she had blamed herself.

As if he could read her thoughts, Kaidan asked, "If you don't mind me asking…how did you deal with yourself after Akuze?"

Shepard turned her eyes downward. "I didn't take the noble route. I was a mess."

"What happened?"

Shepard frowned. "After Akuze, I spent all the time drowning in alcohol and survivor's guilt. Went on like that for a month straight. Long story short, Anderson and Hackett saved me. Anderson got me to talk to a shrink who's a friend of his. Hackett set it up so I was kept busy by being carted around to morale shows on my down time between assignments."

Kaidan nodded. "So that's why you've been going from base to base doing those ceremonies."

"Yeah. Apparently Hackett can't see that his shows are now becoming a new reason for me to drink." Shepard sighed.

Another moment of silence passed between them. Kaidan commented quietly, "Thanks for telling me, Commander. I feel better knowing that you're human like me."

"Don't let it get around, Alenko. I still have an image to keep." Shepard grinned wryly. She nudged him with her shoulder. "Your turn."

He blinked. "My turn?"

"It's your turn to tell me something about your past. Fair is fair, Alenko."

Kaidan began to tense. He didn't like discussing his past very much. There were things that were always best forgotten. Conatix coming to his parent's house to cart him off to BAaT. The friends who snapped from the intensity of the training. The turian teacher he had killed.

_Rahna_.

"If you were really curious, you have access to my files, Commander." He said cautiously.

Shepard didn't notice the stiffness in his voice. "Then tell me something that wouldn't be in your files." She suggested.

"Like what?"

Shepard took a second to mull it over. "Tell me about your family."

"Oh…" He almost let out a sigh of relief. That he could do. "I don't think there's much to tell. My father served in the Alliance Military for decades. He and my mom now spend their days taking care of their nieces and nephews back at their place in Vancouver."

"You're an only child, huh?"

"Yeah. You?

"Same. I guess your parents are really proud about your career choice."

"My dad, yes. My mom…a reluctant yes." Kaidan chuckled.

"Why is that?"

"The usual mom stuff." He held up his hand to tick off his list. "Doesn't like the idea of me going off-world. She only sees me once a year because of my duties. She also really wants me to settle down and give her a mess of grandchildren to spoil."

Shepard laughed. "Her nieces and nephews aren't enough?"

"Apparently not. I told her I need to find a woman first." He said cynically.

Shepard tilted her head. "Was there anyone who came close to becoming a Mrs. Alenko?"

Kaidan paused. "There was one…" He said slowly. "But it was a long time ago, back in my BAaT days. We don't even talk anymore."

Shepard caught the unhappiness clouding into his eyes. Apparently she touched on a sore subject. She decided to change the direction of the conversation. She cleared her throat. "How's your migraine?"

"Ah." Kaidan lifted his hand to his temple. He had completely forgotten about it while he was speaking with Shepard. "Better. Maybe you have this effect on me, Commander."

"Good. I'll send you the bill for the treatment." She joked.

"So why did you come in to the med bay anyway?" He asked.

"Oh, I was hoping Doctor Chakwas had something to help me sleep. I've been awake on stims for the past forty-eight hours." Shepard said wearily.

"Are you serious? Why don't you lie down in that bed over there? Chakwas will probably be coming back soon."

"No thanks." She gazed into Kaidan's eyes. "I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at right now…unless you want me to move."

Kaidan felt his pulse quicken and shook his head. "Uh…no. You can stay like this as long as you want, Commander."

Shepard dimpled. "I'm going to take you up on that, Alenko."

Without anything clever to say, Kaidan simply nodded. For a while, they sat shoulder to shoulder in silence.

Then peace.

* * *

Chakwas stepped into her medical bay and paused at the sight before her.

Commander Shepard and Lieutenant Alenko were sitting up against the wall, her head on his shoulder and his head resting on hers. Both of them were deep asleep.

The doctor smiled knowingly and retrieved a blanket from the bed. She covered the couple neatly with it.

_Now would be a good time to go around and do some surprise personal examinations._ She thought as she quietly left the med bay,


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thank you all so much for your encouraging comments! Shenko fans are awesome! XD

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Come on, Shepard! You're a Spectre now. We should totally go out to the dance clubs and celebrate!" Ashley exclaimed.

Shepard chuckled. "No thanks. You haven't seen me dance."

"Well we should do _something_. You're the Council's first human Spectre. It's not like we can go back to Earth so you can go to your own parade. At least throw a party or something." Ashley turned to Kaidan. "Come on, LT. Back me up!"

Kaidan exchanged a knowing look with Shepard and chuckled. "Trust me, Ash. The last thing Shepard wants is a ceremony in her honor."

Shepard smiled. "I appreciate the enthusiasm, Chief. But you didn't have to suffer through an hour long lecture with Anderson about the importance of duty and decorum that comes with this promotion."

Ashley threw her hands up. "Fine. I give up for now. But as soon as we land ourselves back on Earth, I'm taking your ass to a place I know in Mexico. We're going to party ourselves so sick that the people will be telling stories about us until the end of time."

"Deal." Shepard said and Ashley was quickly appeased.

The three of them were browsing the merchant wards of the Citadel, picking up supplies and personal items. Ashley had joined the Normandy crew with nothing more than the armor she was wearing while she was on Eden Prime and she already had a bag full of needed necessities.

"By the way, how is Captain Anderson taking all this?" Kaidan asked. "It was pretty sudden."

"He's taking it better than I would if I were in his position." Shepard replied, feeling her blood boil again. She was still angry at ambassador Udina for taking away Anderson's command of the Normandy. Even though the snake had claimed it was because Anderson and the rogue Spectre Saren had a past, Shepard had a gut feeling he did it because he had it out for her mentor. The Normandy was going to be docked at the Citadel for at least a day or two while Anderson and Udina get the appropriate permissions to assign the ship over to Shepard's command.

As with everything, Anderson took everything in stride. After the Council had declared her a Spectre, she had a few moments to speak with him privately before Udina assigned him his new duties.

"I can't take over the Normandy. It's your ship." Shepard had protested.

Anderson shook his head. "You're a Spectre now. You need the best. I hand-picked everyone on that crew so I know they're the best."

"I can't do this without you, Anderson. Let me tell Udina to shove it up his ass!"

"You do that and I'll court martial you myself." Anderson threatened but then his expression softened. "I know it's a lot to suddenly take in, but trust me, you're ready. You'll be fine, kid. I know you can stop Saren."

'_You'll be fine' he said. A lot of good that'll do us when the Normandy is destroyed from a stupid decision _I_ made_, Shepard thought with exasperation.

"Well guys, I'm going to head back to the ship with my things. If I take any more, I'm going to run out of locker space." Ashley held up her bags. "I'll see you guys later."

After Ashley walked off, Shepard turned to Kaidan. "Is there anything else you need to take care of?"

"Actually, yes. I know you don't want a celebration or anything…but would you like to come with me for a drink? For Jenkins, I mean." Kaidan quickly added.

Shepard smiled. "I'd be honored to."

"We passed a bar a little ways back. I hope they have beer on tap." Kaidan prayed.

"I think Jenkins will forgive you if you settle for batarian ale."

As they passed a holo playing the Citadel network news, it suddenly updated and Shepard's face appeared on its screen. They both paused as they watched the news report. "The council announces their newest Spectre, Commander Jane Shepard, the first human to ever hold the coveted position." The reporter's voice cheerfully said. "They have released a statement, saying that they are optimistic that Shepard will uphold the duties of the council with the best of her abilities. Human ambassador Donell Udina has commented…"

"That was fast…" Kaidan murmured.

Shepard shook her head. "It should have been Anderson."

"Give yourself some credit, Commander. I think you'll not only make Anderson proud, you'll make humanity proud."Kaidan insisted.

"You really think so?" She asked quietly.

"I wouldn't say it unless I meant it. We need someone like you as a Spectre. You're strong and intelligent, but humble enough to keep you grounded. That's what the crew likes about you. You're exactly like Anderson."

Shepard slowly smiled. "Thanks, Alenko. That means a lot."

"Anytime, Commander." He nodded towards the bar. "Come on, let's take care of that drink."

* * *

Rahna sat back on a cushioned chair, relaxing as her stylists fussed over her. One girl was quietly working on her feet while another was concentrating on her fingernails.

The chattiest one was a massaging her scalp, Rahna did her best to tune out the woman's pointless yammering but it was proving to be difficult. She would have to have words with the manager afterwards and discuss the sort of people they were hiring at their establishment.

"…newest Spectre, Commander Jane Shepard…"

The entire staff in the spa seemed to halt at the announcement and simultaneously turned to stare at the holy screen. Rahna lifted her eyes to the screen from across the room to see what was going on.

"The newest Spectre is a human!" The chatty massage girl squealed as a vid of Shepard played as the reporter prattled on. "Pretty little thing, isn't she?"

Rahna snorted in derision. What was pretty about her? She looked like a butch with her hacked off hair and thick body armor. The Spectre was nothing more than a colonist hick girl with a dull face.

The reporter continued on. "Commander Shepard is currently investigating the recent attack on the human colony, Eden Prime. Alliance officials have handed her the reins of the Normandy, one of the most advanced ships in its fleet. C-Sec officers say that the Normandy will be in the docking bay for a few days and request any unscheduled freighters to report in to Citadel Traffic to prevent confusion." The report panned to a video of several soldiers stepping off the ship.

An image caught Rahna's eye and she bolted up in her chair in reaction.

The stylists stepped back nervously. "Ma'am? Are you okay?"

After a quick second, she regained her composure and sank back into the cushions. "I'm fine. Continue."

As the report droned on in the background, Rahna closed her eyes and slowly smiled to herself. It looked like she had found something interesting to kill her time with after all.

Kaidan Alenko.

* * *

Kaidan and Shepard sat in booth at the far edge of the bar, trying to avoid recognition from its customers and staff. She was hoping the dim lighting would prevent the people from identifying her. The report announcing her Spectre status was playing on the screen behind the bartender.

"I didn't think that a Spectre announcement would be so important to override the ball game." Shepard spoke quietly, trying to keep herself from being noticed by a nearby patron whose attention was glued to the news.

"It's a big deal, Commander. You're the first human Spectre. There's going to be attention." Kaidan whispered back.

She cringed as the report began to play a vid of a ceremony she had attended while back on Earth. "Oh God, the Alliance gave them footage of the stupid event I had to go to back in Tokyo a few weeks back. One of the event coordinators made me wear that tarted up dress. I look awful."

Kaidan watched the vid of Shepard accepting a glass trophy from an Alliance admiral with an awkward smile. The dress was a satiny black number that draped to the ground, with a subtle slit on the side to show her legs.

She looked beautiful. Uncomfortable, yes…but beautiful.

"I think you look pretty good in it." Kaidan murmured.

"You have to say that because you're scared I'll throw you in the brig."

Kaidan gave a light snort. "Commander, you're speaking to someone who was raised around women. If I didn't think you looked gorgeous in that dress, I'd just keep my mouth shut."

Shepard laughed softly. "Thanks, Alenko. If I ever meet your mother, I'll make sure to compliment her on raising such a gentleman."

An asari waitress approached their booth and Shepard turned her face to the table to avoid being spotted. "Welcome. What can I get for you both?"

Kaidan ordered for them both. "We'll have two beers."

"Coming right up." The waitress tapped the order into her tablet and sauntered off to the bartender.

As soon as the waitress was gone, Kaidan leaned over to Shepard. "You're going to have to show your face in public sooner or later, Commander."

Shepard gave him a good natured shove. "Shut up, Alenko. Do me a favor. In this bar, there are no titles. Deal?"

Kaidan grinned. "You said the same thing to me before."

"What happens in the laundry room, stays in the laundry room." Shepard smiled. "Only this time, no titles because it's difficult to stay under radar without you shouting 'Commander, Commander' at me."

"I can't help it if you're my Commander…Commander."

"In this bar, you are simply Kaidan Alenko. I am simply Jane Shepard. We are two anonymous customers in a no-name bar."

Kaidan sat back and relaxed. "All right. No titles then."

"Thank you." She leaned against him comfortably. He affably stretched his arm out behind her shoulders.

The waitress returned with two tall glasses of beer and set them on the table. "Here you go. Two beers for the lovebirds. Let us know if you need anything else."

As she walked away, Shepard looked up at Kaidan's reddening face. "You hear that, Alenko? She called us lovebirds."

"Uh, yeah. Guess that's what it looked like." Kaidan slowly retracted his arm and backed away from her.

Shepard couldn't help to tease him a bit. She scooted herself closer. "Why are you moving away?"

Kaidan shifted further into the booth. "Sorry, Shepard. I didn't…I mean…I wasn't trying to…"

She moved closer, her legs against his. "Wasn't trying to…what?"

Kaidan stared into her eyes and felt his heart thud against his chest. He set his jaw and looked at her seriously. "Shepard, you're making it really difficult for me to keep my distance."

Shepard gave him a slow smile. "Why, Kaidan Alenko! Is that your way of saying that you're interested in me?"

Kaidan gave her a serious stare. "I don't think you want my interest, Shepard. With that sort of thing…It doesn't end well."

His solemn look gave her pause. "What are you talking about, Alenko?"

Kaidan didn't answer. Thoughts of Rahna back in BAaT came rushing back to him. The glass of water. The broken arm. The dead turian with a snapped neck. The look of fear in Rahna's eyes…

Shepard saw the grimace on his face. Whatever happened in Kaidan's past was apparently still too painful for him to recall.

She slowly sat back and began to trace circles into the condensation that formed on her glass of beer on the table. "You know what? Let me tell you a story about my past, Alenko."

Kaidan lifted his face. "Your past?"

Shepard kept her gaze on her beer glass as she began her story. "When I first joined the Alliance, I wasn't thinking much about friendships or romance. I just wanted to become the best soldier I can be so I could serve under Anderson."

"During my training, I got to know another recruit. We both joined the Alliance to change ourselves into something new. Since his past was just as messed up as mine, we got close pretty quickly. And then one thing led to another and…you know…we got together."

She let out a cynical laugh. "I cared about him a lot. It's embarrassing to think about it now. He was the first guy I'd been with…in that way."

"Shepard…" Kaidan spoke but she continued.

"After training, we were both assigned to the same squad. We were together all the time. We even moved into a housing unit together." She sighed. "Then after two years, the Alliance decided to send us both to different bases. It wasn't a big deal to us since it happens when you're military. We made promises to each other. I even thought he was planning on proposing marriage."

"On the night I was supposed to ship out, my superior officer had let me off early so I could prepare my things. I went to the house and I saw…" Shepard sighed. "He was in bed with another woman. A fucking camp-following prostitute. Didn't even notice me when I came in."

Kaidan couldn't believe it. Someone cheated on Shepard? It was implausible. "What did you do?" He asked.

Shepard turned to him and grinned wryly. "I wish I could say that I kicked his ass and threw them out of the house. But no…I just turned tail and ran out. Never went back for my stuff. I spent the night in a supply closet. The next morning I woke up, went to my ship, and…that was that."

"Bastard." Kaidan felt a surge of anger towards the man he had never met. To do something so terrible to Shepard…it was unbelievable.

Shepard nodded. "I never told anyone about that. Not even Anderson."

"I won't tell anyone." Kaidan promised.

"You wear your emotions so easily, Alenko." Shepard laughed softly. "You don't have to be so angry. I did plenty of that for a long time. Now I'm over it."

"You deserve better. I can't believe that someone would be stupid enough to do something like that to you." Kaidan angrily stated. After a few quiet moments, he turned to her. "Why did you tell me this, Shepard?"

"I told you because I want you to know that everyone has a past that they don't want anyone else to know about." She said, propping her elbows on the table and leaned her chin against her linked hands.

Kaidan mulled over words. "Shepard…I…"

"I also told you because you're a good guy, Alenko. I wouldn't tell something like this to someone who I considered just a passing fancy."

Before Kaidan could respond, she held her finger up to his lips. "I know you're not ready to talk about what happened in the past…and that's perfectly fine. Just know, when you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen."

Kaidan took hold of her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. "Thanks, Shepard. You don't know how much I needed to hear someone say that."

Shepard smiled and then held up her glass. "Well, then. While I was going on, our beers were getting lonely. Shall we hurry up and make that toast to Jenkins?"

"Absolutely." Kaidan took hold of his glass. "To Jenkins, a great guy and a great friend. I hope you're looking down at us and know that you're missed."

"To Jenkins." Shepard agreed.

They clinked their glasses together.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Again, thanks to everyone for your sweet comments! =D

Updated two chapters this time around. I love you guys!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Rahna strode into the café and scanned the tables with her sharp eyes. A patron at a table raised her hand in greeting.

Rahna stepped up to the table and gracefully sat down in the chair a waiter had pulled out for her. "Hello, Khalisah. Thanks for waiting for me…traffic on the Citadel has been terrible lately."

"My pleasure, Rahna." Khalisah took a sip of her coffee from a delicate ceramic cup. "So what was so important that you needed to meet me right away? Got some juicy news about your father's campaign?"

"Actually, I called you because I had a bit of a favor." Rahna wordlessly gestured to the waiter for some tea. "I need you to look into someone for me."

"Oh? Who would this be?" Khalisah raised her eyebrows in interest.

"No one of importance. Just a personal acquaintance of mine from a long time ago." Rahna answered indifferently.

"Rahna, I know you. Any one of your 'acquaintances' means that I could make a great story for the society reports." Khalisah's eyes gleamed greedily.

"I don't want this person to show up in your articles." Rahna ordered.

"Then what's in it for me if I dig up information on this _person_?" Khalisah leaned back into her chair and crossed her arms.

The waiter seamlessly placed a steaming cup of tea in front of Rahna and inclined his head as he walked away. Rahna lifted the teacup to her lips and took a slow sip before she answered. "I'll provide you with some scandalous information about the man running against my father. It involves a very specific type of prostitution that the voters would probably be _very _interested in."

Khalisah's eyes twinkled. "Deal. So who is it that you need me to look up?"

Rahna leaned forward. "His name is Kaidan Alenko."

Khalisah entered the name into her note tablet. "Kaidan…Alenko…All right. Is there any additional information about him that'll help me narrow down my search?"

Rahna recalled the report that was playing while she was at the spa. "I believe he is on the crew of that new dull-faced human Spectre. Commander Sherry or Sherman or something like that." She waved the name off.

"Commander Shepard? The newest Spectre for the Council?" Khalisah whispered. "She's the hottest thing on the news right now."

"Yes, yes. I think that's her name." Rahna rolled her eyes, already bored at the mere mention of the woman. "Anyway, would that help you with your research?"

"Absolutely." Khalisah licked her lips with anticipation. "Actually, I've wanted to pursue a story about Shepard. Do you mind if I go after her?"

"Do what you want with the Spectre." Rahna said apathetically, taking another sip from her tea. "Just keep Kaidan Alenko out of it."

* * *

"Damn that useless Council!" Ashley spat. "What do they think we're doing out here? Playing tourist?"

"Chief…" Shepard said evenly, trying to pacify Ashley's temper.

"While we're busting our asses trying to save the galaxy from their rogue Spectre, all they can say that our claims have no proof? My dead squad back on Eden Prime is proof enough!" Ashley continued to fume, pounding her fist on the arm of her chair.

"Ash, calm down. You're making Dr. T'soni nervous." Kaidan said.

The team's newest addition, Dr. Liara T'soni, sat across the room and was fretfully twiddling her fingers. "I'm fine…please continue."

Shepard sighed and turned to Ashley. "Relax, Chief. You're preaching to the choir with just the four of us in this room."

Ashley huffed and leaned back into the chair. "Sorry, Commander. I'm more pissed off at their attitude than anything else."

"Welcome to the intergalactic bureaucracy, Ash." Kaidan grinned sardonically.

The four of them sat in the small meeting room, feeling equally frustrated at the stone wall that the Council had kept placing before them. They wanted undisputed evidence that their Spectre, Saren, had indeed gone rogue, but Ashley and Liara's testimonies were not concrete enough to prove anything with them.

Ashley then turned her attention to Liara. "Are you sure there isn't a way for you to contact your mother? If anyone knows where Saren's at, it's her."

Liara shook her head. "I wish I knew…but it's been years since I've last spoken to her. Your guesses are as good as mine."

"Maybe we should go back to Eden Prime for clues." Ashley suggested.

"There's no point. The military is already there cleaning up the colony. If they came across anything, they would've called us." Shepard said.

"Well, anything is better than us just hanging out in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing." Ashley grumbled and crossed her arms.

Another long pause came between them. The Normandy was currently drifting aimlessly in the outskirts of the Artemis Tau cluster for the past several hours. Shepard called a meeting with her squad mates to see if they had any suggestions as they wait for the Alliance military to alert them of any new geth activity.

"Commander." Joker's voice over the Normandy's intercom broke the silence.

"Go ahead." She replied.

"The yeoman wanted me to alert you that you received an urgent message in your email."

"Thanks, Joker." Shepard quickly stood up from her chair and went to a nearby terminal.

"Were you waiting for something, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah. I got a little impatient with waiting for Alliance Intel to send me new reports, so I sent out some messages to a few of my contacts to see if any of them could point us in the right direction." She said as she typed into the panel.

"Here's hoping. Sitting around like this is making me twitch." Ashley rolled her shoulder.

Shepard let out a whoop of exhilaration. "Joker! Set a course for the Citadel, asap!"

"Aye, aye." Joker responded and the intercom clicked off.

"Good news?" Kaidan leaned forward.

"Very." Shepard closed the link on the terminal. "A friend of mine is looking into the Saren matter and he says he has a good lead on some hard evidence to present to the Council."

"A friend? Can we trust him?" Kaidan inquired.

"Oh yeah. He works for C-Sec. He's as rigid as it comes when it comes to hunting down criminals. If he's going to help us, we're already step closer to getting that bastard. You guys'll like him." Shepard grinned.

Ashley turned to Kaidan and raised an eyebrow. "I guess we'll have to see, won't we?" She put a knowing lilt in her voice.

Kaidan looked away from Ashley and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The omni-tool on her nightstand was beeping persistently for the past several minutes. Rahna groaned in annoyance and rolled out of the luxurious covers. The lovely haze of red sand was slowly disappearing from her senses, bringing her back to reality. She picked up the omni-tool module and with a flash of light, a holo screen lit up before her, indicating an incoming call.

She tapped on the screen to accept and Khalisah's face appeared on screen. "What is it." Rahna moaned.

"You told me to call you as soon as anything came up concerning your person of interest." Khalisah said with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"And…?"

"I just got word from a source from C-Sec that the Normandy will be docking in the Citadel in about two hours. Thought you'd like to know."

Rahna lazily smiled. "That's lovely. Thank you, Khalisah. I'll have someone message you later with the information that you needed for that article. I'll talk to you later."

Rahna closed the link and slowly sat up in bed. She would have to hurry and prepare herself before she met Kaidan again. She sauntered over to a nearby chair where she had draped her dress.

"Where are you going?" A slurred male voice came from the bed.

"Something just came up." She replied sensually, slipping her clothes back on.

"I thought you said you had the whole day."

Rahna went to a nearby mirror to fuss with her hair. "Sorry, I have something important to do."

"But I set it up so my wife will be gone until late this evening." The man grumbled.

"Then set it up again when I have some free time." She said flightily as she threw him an amorous look over her shoulder. She then strode out the apartment with a smile on her lips.

She was looking forward to seeing Kaidan Alenko again.

* * *

"So he told you to meet him at this clinic?" Kaidan asked, following Shepard into the Citadel elevators.

"Yes. Apparently this doctor he knows has some knowledge about Saren." She pushed a button and the doors closed behind them.

"I don't know, Commander. This seems odd. What if we're walking into an ambush?" Ashley questioned.

Shepard smiled. "What's wrong, Chief? Do you not trust my judgment in friends?"

Ashley made a sideways glance at Liara who was busy looking out the elevator's window. "Of course not." She mumbled.

They got off the elevators and headed towards the clinic. Shepard turned to Ashley as they approached the entrance. "Besides, who the hell would ambush someone in a hospital?"

The doors slid open and then they found themselves at the end of several pistols and shotguns. A woman, which Shepard could only conclude to be the clinic's doctor, was being held at gunpoint by one of the thugs.

"You were saying, Commander?" Ashley muttered.

"You! Who are you?" The thug holding the doctor shouted at Shepard.

"That's what I should be asking." She said slowly. "Now why don't you and your friends drop your weapons and we can all introduce ourselves."

"They have guns! We should kill them!" One of the men cocked his gun.

"Liara!" Shepard yelled.

In a second, Liara threw a singularity into the room, lifting everyone in the room and throwing them against the wall. Kaidan and Ashley quickly moved in to disarm the men. Shepard's pistol was aimed for the man who still had a grip on the doctor. "Now, are you going to be a good boy or do we have to do this the hard way?" She asked calmly.

"Any of you move and I'm killing this bitch!" The thug threatened, pressing the gun against the doctor's head.

Suddenly, the back of the thug's head exploded into a bloody mess and he slumped to the ground. The doctor let out a short scream as she scrambled away from the body.

"Thanks for the distraction." A voice came from behind them.

Shepard swiftly turned and her face broke into a wide smile. "Garrus!"

The others turned to see a turian strapping a sniper rifle back onto his back as he strolled into the clinic. "Apparently you can turn a simple meeting into a firefight." He joked and kicked at one of the groaning men on the ground. "I'll call my squad to come in and clean up this mess."

Shepard turned to her teammates. "Guys, this is Garrus Vakarian. The friend of mine I was telling you about. Garrus, this is Kaidan, Ashley , and Liara."

Garrus inclined his head at them. "Nice to meet you. Any friends of Shepard are friends of mine."

"You didn't warn me that these men were going to be here." The doctor cried, interrupting their introductions.

Garrus went over to the hysterical woman. "I'm sorry, Dr. Michel. I didn't know they were coming either. It's going to be okay…"

As Garrus and Shepard went to calm down the frantic doctor, Ashley huffed under her breath. "A turian. Isn't that fantastic."

"There's nothing wrong with being a turian." Liara whispered.

"You can say that because you're not a human. Am I right, L.T.?" Ashley nudged Kaidan.

"Uh…sure." Kaidan replied absent-mindedly, his gaze focused on Shepard. There was something about the way the turian placed his hand on Shepard's shoulder that made him think that he might have been more than just a friend. Was he over thinking this too?

After a few moments of hushed conversation with the doctor, Shepard joined the others standing to the side. "I'm going to go with Garrus to pursue our lead. Seems like there's someone who had hard evidence against Saren and we're going to find them before these others thugs do. Liara," Shepard turned to the asari. "Could you stay here with Dr. Michel until the others at C-Sec show up?"

Liara nodded. "Of course."

Shepard turned to Ashley and Kaidan. "I need you guys on standby for now. Stay near the presidium until I call you."

"What? We're not going with you?" Kaidan asked, glancing at Garrus.

"Sorry, but we're trying to keep other interested parties from noticing us. Having a bunch of us together draws too much attention. Just stay on the Citadel until I give you guys a call." Shepard instructed.

"Aye, aye, Commander." Ashley responded.

"Yes, ma'am." Kaidan hesitantly agreed.

"Let's go, Garrus." Shepard called out. Garrus nodded and they both rushed out of the clinic.

Kaidan watched them leave, the uneasy feeling furrowing itself deeper into his stomach.

* * *

Ashley and Kaidan slowly wandered about the wards, waiting for a command from Shepard.

"I'm just saying that Shepard should watch out for that turian." Ashley argued with a low voice. "We didn't go to war with them for nothing, you know."

"Not all turians are bad, Ash." Kaidan replied, trying to keep neutral. "If he's a friend of Shepard's, he must be a good guy."

Ashley shrugged. "They seemed pretty close. Maybe Shepard slept with him before."

Kaidan choked at Ashley's words. "What? You think so?"

"I was just kidding, L.T. God, you're a spaz." Ashley laughed.

"Shut up, Ash. Don't joke about the Commander's sex life. I'm sure she doesn't like it." Kaidan muttered.

Ashley stopped walking and put her hand on her hip. Kaidan paused and saw Ashley staring at him. "What?" He asked.

"Oh my God…you're really into the Commander, aren't you?"

"I…don't know what you're talking about." Kaidan started to briskly walk away.

Ashley quickened her step to catch up to him. "You are! Damn, L.T. I knew it was a crush, but I didn't know you were this deep in."

"What? No I'm not." Kaidan kept his eyes forward.

"You're a crappy liar." Ashley said.

Kaidan finally stopped and turned to Ashley. "Is it that obvious?"

Ashley grinned. "Only with you. Do you have something going on with the Commander right now?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No. I mean, we've spoken about…stuff. But I don't even know if there's something between us."

"Mm." Ashley nodded. "Shepard is harder to read. She definitely has a past…probably some bastard broke her heart a long time ago."

Kaidan blinked. "How do you know that?"

"I was raised with a bunch of sisters…I know how to read a woman." Ashley smiled smugly.

"Must be nice."

"You're good for her, L.T. I can read that too." Ashley added softly. "I'll be rooting for you."

Kaidan awkwardly rubbed at the back of his head. "Thanks, Ash."

"Kaidan?" A breathless gasp interrupted their conversation.

Ashley spun around to see a stunning woman with midnight hair with tears in her wide brown eyes. Her delicate fingers were clasped over her mouth, holding back a sob. Her flowing rose-colored dress matched the lovely color of her cheeks.

"Rahna?" Kaidan whispered in disbelief.

Ashley watched with equal incredulity as the mystery woman launched herself into Kaidan's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Shepard was ecstatic. It was almost as if everything was slowly falling into its place. She watched Udina stumble excitedly out of the embassy offices, elated to set up an emergency meeting with the Council to present them with the evidence against Saren.

She watched her newly recruited team mates try to make themselves comfortable in the office room. Wrex was leaning against a wall, watching the door with a cautious eye. Tali'zorah was sitting in one of the sofa chairs, using her omni-tool to send a message back to the quarian fleet about her whereabouts. Garrus was on the balcony, pacing back and forth, anxious to get on with their plans.

Shepard joined Garrus and gave him a friendly slap on his back. "How are you doing, Officer Vakarian?"

Garrus stopped his restless pacing. "I can't wait to shove this evidence into the Council's self-righteous faces. Saren's finally going to get what's coming to him."

"Yeah, but knowing Saren, just having the Council's help isn't going to stop him."

"I know. But it's a step in the right direction. His Spectre rights are going to be revoked and every patrol in Council space is going to be looking out for him. It'll help us hunt him down."

Shepard leaned against the railing, looking out over the presidium. "Are you sure you want to join me, Garrus?"

Garrus snorted. "And let you have all the fun? I don't think so."

Shepard turned to him. "What about C-Sec?"

"I've been wanting a change in my career for a while now." Garrus placed his hands on the railing with her. "I hear that joining a Spectre team can get me some pretty good benefits."

"Top notch medical plan and all the booze you can handle when you're on shore leave. But I can't compete with C-Sec's pension program." Shepard smiled.

Garrus chuckled. "I'll be fine, Shepard. I was getting sick of all the bullshit on the Citadel. At least with you I don't have to seek approval from three different superior officers before I can even draw my weapon."

"I'm glad to have you all join up. You can help us with the Normandy's armaments, Tali will be perfect for our engineering team, and Wrex…I'm just glad to have him on my side."

"Does the big bad krogan scare you, Shepard?" Garrus asked jokingly.

"Terrifies me." Shepard answered dryly. "Remember when we first met?"

"Oh yeah…I was hunting down that krogan mercenary that was wanted for running a rackeering operation on the Shin Akiba district. I was chasing him down the wards…damn, I didn't know someone so big could run so fast. And when I finally caught up to him, there you were with an unconscious krogan at your feet."

"I saw him shove a little old lady to the ground while he was running away. It would've ruined my shore leave if I let him get away with that."

"You never told me how you did it." Garrus said pointedly.

"Let's hope I never have to show you. If Wrex ever came at me like a shuttle ship, he'd flatten me like a pancake. I'd way rather go against Saren than to make that guy angry."

Garrus laughed. "Don't worry, Shepard. It's just Saren, an asari matriarch, and their army of geth that we'll have to face."

"And we're going to kick ass." Shepard grinned.

The office doors opened and everyone turned to see Ashley stride in. Wrex reached for his gun and Shepard quickly waved him off. "Relax, she's with us."

"Just got your message. Did you meet with the Council yet?" Ashley asked.

"Not yet. We're waiting for them right now."

Ashley carefully stared at Wrex. "Interesting group of people you have here, Shepard."

"They're new additions to the Normandy's crew, Chief. We'll have our orientation meeting later." Shepard joked and looked behind Ashley. "Where's Alenko?"

"Oh." Ashley rubbed at her neck. "LT ran into an old friend and they're out having drinks..."

"Good for him. I'll call if we need him."

"Are you sure?" Ashley pressed.

Shepard gave Ashley a quizzical look. "Of course. Why? Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong…" Ashley slowly replied. "Just thought if you wanted LT to be here, he'd drop what he's doing and join us."

Shepard patted Ashley on the arm. "It's not a big deal. We don't need him to be here when we meet with the Council. Let him enjoy his drinks with his friend."

Ashley frowned. "If you say so, Commander."

* * *

Kaidan nervously rubbed his thumb against the glass of water he held in his hand. He couldn't believe who was sitting with him in a presidium café. Rahna was sitting across from him, smiling softly as she stirred sugar into her tea. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, with her silken black curls cascading down her back and bright eyes the color of caramel.

He could barely lift his eyes to look at her.

When Rahna dove into his arms earlier, he found himself petrified. The sight of her took his breath away like a strong kick to the stomach. And it hurt just as badly as well.

Rahna was speaking deliriously while she was embracing him. "It's been so long! Years! How have you been? I can't believe you're here…"

He had no decipherable reply. All he could stutter out was, "R-Rahna…?"

He couldn't even respond when Ashley backed away saying, "I guess I'll leave you two to catch up…"

Kaidan fervently wished that he stopped Ashley from leaving. She would have been a good buffer to have in such an unanticipated reunion.

How the hell was he supposed to act with the woman he loved and lost so long ago?

"Is there something wrong, Kaidan?"

Her question snapped him back to the present and he saw her gazing at him from across the table with a puzzled expression. He fervently shook his head. "No. Not at all. I just…Um…"

Rahna laughed beautifully. "I know…it's so sudden. I thought I'd never see you again. It must be fate."

"Yeah…fate…" He chuckled uneasily.

Rahna leaned forward, linking her delicate hands together in front of her chin. "So what have you been up to in the past couple years?"

"Uh…Joined the Alliance military. Still with them. I'm currently stationed on the Normandy under Commander Shepard, you know, the new Spectre."

"Yes, I heard about her. She seems…sensible."

Kaidan grinned. "She's more than just sensible. She's an incredible soldier and an amazing leader. I mean, just a few moments earlier ago we were…"

"I'm glad you're happy with the Alliance." Rahna interjected with a contented smile, ending his story in mid-sentence.

"Oh…uh, thanks." Kaidan replied awkwardly.

A minute of uncomfortable silence passed between them. Kaidan struggled to find something to say to fill the void between them. "So…what have you been doing since we saw each other last?"

She gracefully shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing much. I spend most of my time doing volunteer work on the Citadel. My parents are still back on Earth. They visit every few months."

Kaidan nodded. "That's good. Is your dad still with the embassies back on Earth?"

"Yes, he is. How's your mother? Is your father still with the Alliance?"

"Mom's fine. Dad is supposed to be retired but they still call him here and there for an occasional odd job."

Rahna tilted her head thoughtfully. "That's good to hear. Tell your parents I said hello the next time you see them."

"I will. Same for your parents."

Rahna smiled lightly. "Have you spoken to anyone from back in our BAaT days?"

The question caught him by surprise. He didn't expect Rahna to ask about the old days so easily. "Yeah…Some of the guys send me messages every few months. What about you?"

She shyly lowered her eyes. "Not really. You're the first person from BAaT I've seen since they were disbanded…"

"Ah…" Kaidan felt the familiar shame creep over him again.

It was now or never. It was finally a chance to rid himself of the cloud he had hanging over his conscience for the past several years. He took a deep breath and looked her steadily in the eye. "Rahna…I never got the chance to say I was sorry for what I did."

She shook her head. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay." Kaidan said softly. "When Vyrnnus broke your arm…I just snapped. I didn't mean to traumatize you like that. I didn't…"

Rahna placed her hands over Kaidan's clenched fist. "I understand. Please don't worry about it."

Kaidan closed his eyes. "But you were so terrified of me after that. You couldn't even talk to me. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. We're speaking right now, aren't we?"

"Yeah. We are." Kaidan opened his eyes and saw her gentle expression. He felt a surge of reprieve. "Thanks, Rahna. I've been keeping that in for years. You have no idea how relieved I am."

Rahna nodded and moved her hands away. "So let's change the subject. Tell me, Kaidan…who was that lovely woman you were with?"

Kaidan blinked. The sudden question caught him off-guard. "Lovely woman…? Shepard?"

"The woman you were with was Commander Shepard?" Rahna asked, surprised.

"Oh. You mean Ash...Ashley." Kaidan laughed. "She's the gunnery chief back on the Normandy."

"Is she your…" Rahna trailed off.

Kaidan caught her insinuation and laughed it off. "No, no. Ash is just a friend. We're not involved."

"I see…" She paused for a moment. "You think Commander Shepard is a lovely woman?"

"Ah…Shepard and I aren't…she's my Commander…I mean she _is_ lovely…but she's not…" Kaidan stumbled.

Rahna narrowed her eyes. "So you and Commander Shepard are together?"

Kaidan frowned. "No…not really. It's…complicated."

Before Rahna could reply, Kaidan heard a sharp beep in his commlink. He mouthed, "One second." to Rahna before accepting the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lieutenant." Shepard's voice crackled over the link.

"Commander…is there something going on?" Kaidan turned to the side. Rahna listened intently as she took a slow sip of tea.

"We just met with the Council."

Kaidan slapped his forehead. "The Council meeting. I missed it! I'm sorry, Commander."

"Don't get too twisted about it. They finally did what we wanted them to do. They revoked Saren's Spectre status and he's now officially on the run."

"That's great. Now we just have to catch the bastard."

"You got it. The Council gave us a lead on where he might be. We're leaving within the hour, so get to the Normandy asap."

"Aye, aye." Kaidan responded and closed the commlink. He quickly turned back to Rahna. "I'm sorry that I have to go, Rahna. The Normandy is shipping out in a few minutes."

"That's okay. You have my mailing address now. Send me a message the next time you're back on the Citadel." She smiled pleasantly.

He got up from the table. "Sure. We'll talk again later. It was really good seeing you again."

"Same. Be careful, Kaidan. I'll be waiting for you." She said softly.

Her words made him falter a bit. He awkwardly lifted his hand. "O…okay. Goodbye, Rahna."

Kaidan ran off without looking back. As he disappeared, Rahna's delicate expression changed into one of malice.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: I can't get enough of Shenko fluff ^_^ please don't hate me for writing so much of it~ XD

In the past few days, I've received several messages about FF . Net deleting fics with any mention of MA stuff...can anyone confirm that to be true? (If it is true, sucks to be me, since I love reading/writing about a good romance scene.) =P

As always, thank you all for your sweet comments =)

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Rahna stormed into her bedroom, ripping off her necklace in anger and scattering a shower of pink pearls all over the floor.

The nerve! The absolute nerve!

She sent out a biotic pulse against her vanity mirror, shattering it.

No one has ever put her to the side for anything. Here she was, made up to look so exquisitely virgin and all Kaidan Alenko could do was fumble out an apology and bolt out like a dog after its master whistled for it.

She furiously sent another biotic wave towards her dresser, destroying it along with her collection of delicate perfume bottles that had been artfully arranged on top.

And _who_ did he leave her for? Commander Shepard the butch. It wasn't like it wouldn't have upset her if he left her for anyone else, but the fact that he left her for that manly-looking hick made it sting all the more.

Rahna huffed, catching her breath. It had been a while since she had used her biotics in such a way and it left her sore.

She thought about her days in BAaT and how she had come across the imbecile.

She had been living a perfectly content life until the Alliance people came along and convinced her parents that she needed training for her biotic potential. And like the idiots they were, her parents carted her off to the BAaT, thinking that having a biotically gifted child would bring more pull with the voters.

They escorted her on to a private ship and assured her that she was special-as if she didn't already know that. Then they dumped her in a class full of 'special' people and expected her to associate with them.

She remembered how Kaidan Alenko looked back then. Tall, muscular, and quiet. Amongst the dregs of scared little kids, he definitely stood out. He was the boy scout who did his best to calm the younger children as they snottily cried for their parents.

He was a fun distraction for a while. It was easy to catch him and twist him around her little finger. And the times they were able to get away from everyone and have those hot and sweaty sessions in his bunk were certainly entertaining at the time.

The biotic training wasn't too bad in the beginning. She simply had to pretend it was intense labor whenever she had to train her biotic pulls and was called a genius for it.

But after they hired that awful turian to be their new trainer, BAaT ceased to be amusing. He was boorish and rude beyond understanding. She recalled how many times she had to squeeze out those fake tears in order appease his sense of superiority so he could take his rage out on someone else.

She was sick of BAaT, sick of the turian, and sick of Kaidan. She admit she was probably sick of Kaidan most of all…with all his talk about love and family. It was cute at first, but after several months she wanted someone new and exciting.

That was when she came up with her brilliant plan on escaping the awful place. She would intentionally provoke the turian to the point that he would harm someone. Then she would have sufficient reason to contact her parents and get them to pull her out immediately.

Of course, that plan had a misstep when the damned turian turned on her and broke her arm. That bastard. Although Kaidan killing him _did_ give her a small sense of satisfaction.

Even though things didn't go exactly the way she wanted them to go, it still panned out in the end. Her parents had pulled her out of BAaT, the turian trainer was no more, and Kaidan Alenko was no longer an obligation she had to deal with.

She sighed and ran her tongue across her lips. She had to admit, Kaidan had outgrown from his lanky, broody self and turned into a gorgeous sexpot. The whole time she was sitting with him at the café, she couldn't help to wonder if the sex still be as lusty and hard as it was when they were younger.

She began to pace, tapping her finger against her chin. Kaidan Alenko would be a slow project to work on, but it would definitely be worth it in the end.

All she would have to do was to rid him of his affection for Commander Shepard.

An idea came to her and she quickly pulled out her omni-tool to reach a contact. After a few seconds, Khalisah appeared on the holo screen before her. "Yes, Rahna?" Khalisah grumbled, holding an ice pack to her face.

"What happened to your face?" Rahna noticed an unattractive bruise under Khalisah's eye.

"Commander Shepard is what happened." Khalisah grimaced. "I finally got a chance to get a hold of her after the Council declared Saren a traitor. All I did was ask her a few harmless questions and then she punched me. Ugh! I will ruin that bitch for everythi-"

Rahna waved off Khalisah's ranting. "Did you dig up information on Kaidan Alenko like I asked you to?"

Khalisah sighed. "I did…and you were absolutely right about him being of no interest to me whatsoever."

"Forward the information to my email then."

"Why don't I just meet you somewhere and I'll give it to you in person?"

"I can't. I'm leaving the Citadel. Just make sure to send that info to me." Rahna shortly replied and ended the call.

The doors swished open and her maid stepped in timidly, holding a black dress in her hands. "Miss Rahna, the cleaners have dropped off your evening gown for Consort Sha'ira's dinner party tonight. Do you still wish to go?"

"No." Rahna tossed her curls over her shoulder and placed her hands on her hips. "Arrange to have me on the first flight back to Earth and pack up my travelling case with a few essentials." Rahna paused and looked over surroundings. "Oh…and clean up this mess while you're at it."

"Yes, Miss Rahna." The maid meekly replied as Rahna strode out of her destroyed bedroom.

* * *

Kaidan stepped off the elevator and looked around. Joker had mentioned that Shepard was in the shuttle bay but it appeared to be empty. Amongst the metal crates of Normandy supplies, the Mako was safely tucked away in the far corner.

He was about to head back until he heard a faint humming of a familiar tune. He followed the sound to the Mako but still couldn't find anyone around.

He then heard a loud clanking sound come from below. Kaidan got down on his hands and knees and looked under the vehicle. He squinted and saw a tuft of dark hair underneath an oily open panel.

"Commander?"

The humming stopped and Shepard turned her head to look at Kaidan. "Hey, Alenko. What's up?"

"I should be asking you that. What are you doing down there?"

She turned her attention back to the open plates above her. "Just doing some work on the Mako before we arrive at Noveria."

"You know the guys in engineering take care of that for you, right?"

"The guys in engineering aren't the ones that are going to freezing their asses off during a mission. I'm just making sure the heating exhaust pipes are all in working order." Her speech was straining as she tightened a bolt with the wrench in her hand. "Did you come down here looking for me, Lieutenant?"

"Anderson wanted you to call him before we land on Noveria. Joker tried to reach you through the commlink but you weren't responding." Kaidan said, still kneeling on the floor.

"Oh yeah. I turned it off a few minutes ago. Wrex kept bugging me with his stupid 'how many salarians does it take' jokes." Shepard switched her commlink back online.

Kaidan chuckled. "Yeah. Now he's bugging Garrus with them. I think he's purposely trying to drive us all crazy so we leave him behind before we go on the mission."

"I guess krogans aren't fans of cold weather." Shepard mused as she unfastened another panel. "Hey, Alenko. If you're not doing anything right now, mind helping me out?"

"Sure. What do you need, Commander?"

"Get the welding tool from the box next to your foot and hand it to me?"

Kaidan grabbed the welder and fluidly slid under the Mako, joining Shepard by her side. He handed her the tool. "Here you go."

"Thanks. Can you hold onto that pipe over there?"

Kaidan complied and together they worked in their usual comfortable silence. He snuck a glance at Shepard while she fixed the Mako. Her short hair was tied up in a messy ponytail. Her face and her hands were smudged with dirt and grease.

He recalled Rahna appearance a few days ago and couldn't help comparing them both. Rahna's long and lustrous black curls. Rahna's perfect complexion. Rahna's beautifully manicured hands.

They were literally the definition of opposites. Rahna was always stunningly elegant.

But even with all the grime and sweat, Shepard was the one who was making his heart thud loudly against his chest.

"Ah crap. I need another tool from that box." Shepard muttered, stirring Kaidan out of her reverie. "I'll get it, just keep holding that pipe in place."

"Don't worry, Commander. Let me get it for you."

With his free hand, he reached out and gently pulled the toolbox towards Shepard with his biotics. Shepard let out an amazed laugh. "I'm glad to know that all that biotic training you went through has paid off."

"If it impressed you, then all that pain was worth it." He smiled as the dim blue glow from his biotics dissipated.

Shepard reached into the box and pulled out the tool she needed. "Well, maybe I can go to the same training camp you went to and see if I might have any hidden biotic potential too."

Kaidan's smile disappeared. "That'll be difficult…because it was shut down."

Shepard caught Kaidan's edgy tone and cleared her throat. "I see."

After a few seconds of silence, Kaidan spoke up. "It was shut down because of me."

Shepard stopped working on the Mako and turned her head to him. He gazed back at her with heavy eyes. His mouth felt dry as he began his explanation.

"Several years ago, the Biotic Acclimation and Training program was created to help train the first wave of human biotics. BAaT was closed after only a few years. The story that the Alliance tells was that BAaT was shut down to make way for bigger things like the Ascension Project. But the real story was that a student killed a trainer…a turian. To avoid adding more stress on the shaky relationship we had with the turians, the Alliance made up that cover story."

"So that student…" Shepard murmured.

"Yeah. It was me."

"What happened?"

Kaidan's jaw tensed. "The turian trainer, Commander Vyrnnus, was an asshole merc that they hired to train us. Mean son of a bitch. We all despised him. Come to think of it, that hatred brought a lot of us closer together."

Kaidan let out a deep sigh before continuing. "In my class, there was a girl named Rahna. She's from a pretty well-to-do family back on Earth. She was kind and gentle…everyone loved her. I…loved her." Kaidan added penitently. "She and I grew really close…it made things more bearable for me."

Shepard gave an understanding nod. "And then?"

"One day, Rahna reached for a glass of water in front of Vyrnnus instead of pulling it with her biotics…like I just did with you right now. Vyrnnus broke her arm to punish her…and I just lost it."

"Before I knew what I was doing, I threw a biotic kick that threw Vyrnnus back into a wall. Broke his neck. And…that was that."

"What happened with Rahna?"

"She was terrified of me from that point on. She couldn't stand being in the same room as me."

Shepard watched the unhappiness cloud over his eyes again. The puzzle pieces now fit together. It now explained why he looked so miserable whenever the subject of his past came up.

She tried to keep a light tone to her voice. "So…do I have to tell you that it wasn't your fault or do you already know that?"

Kaidan rewarded her dry humor with a laugh. "Don't worry, Commander. I already know."

"And Rahna?"

"It's okay now." He said with certainty. "I actually got closure a few days ago on the Citadel."

"You did?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah. Ran into her in the presidium."

"Ah. She was the friend you were having drinks with."

"That was her." He nodded. "I never thought I'd be able to apologize to her for what happened…but I got to. She accepted it. I didn't think it would be such a huge relief, but it is."

"That's good. I'm happy for you, Alenko." Shepard said sincerely.

"Thanks, Commander, for listening…and waiting."

On the cold steel floor and underneath a grimy Mako, Kaidan couldn't think of any other place he would rather be. He slowly reached over and took hold of Shepard's hand. He felt his heart skip a beat when Shepard linked her fingers through his and gave his hand a light squeeze.

"So…" Shepard joked wryly. "Does this mean that this Rahna girl ruined you for other women?"

With a grin teasing on his lips, he let out a loud exaggerated sigh. "I kind of think she did. How will I ever find somebody that would help me forget that heartbreak?"

Shepard slowly inched her face closer to him. "If you're looking for a recommendation, I suggest you ask someone else."

Kaidan laughed softly. "I guess I'll have to find out for myself."

He gazed into her eyes, which illuminated the color of the sea even under the dim lighting. As if there was a slow magnetic pull, their faces drew closer and closer to each other. At a hair's length before their lips could meet-

"Commander!"

At the sudden sound of Joker's voice over their commlinks, Shepard and Kaidan sat up in surprise, banging their heads simultaneously on the Mako.

"Shit!" They both swore in unison and rubbed at their foreheads.

"What is it, Joker?" Shepard hissed.

"Anderson sent you another notification. He really needs to speak with you."

"Okay, okay. Patch him through to the conference room. I'll be there in a minute." She groaned and ended the commlink.

As Kaidan and Shepard kneaded at the bumps forming on top of their heads, they looked at each other and began to laugh hysterically.

"Our pilot has some excellent timing, doesn't he?" Shepard sighed.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to barge in on his off-time and see how he likes it." Kaidan turned to her and grinned. "Go on ahead and talk to Anderson. I'll finish repairing the Mako for you."

"Thanks." Shepard was about to crawl out but paused. "Oh…and one more thing."

"Yeah?"

She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the bruise on his forehead. "Next time, try seducing me somewhere that doesn't have me covered in oil and dirt."

Kaidan chuckled and took hold of her wrist to press his lips against her palm. "No promises, Commander."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"There you are."

Ashley whipped around in surprise, and quickly relaxed when she saw Kaidan approaching her. "Oh, it's you, LT. Don't scare me like that."

Everyone has been feeling anxious since landing on Virmire. The squad had settled into the small camp belonging to a unit of salarian soldiers who were planning on raiding the illegal research laboratory that Saren was facilitating. Kaidan saw Ashley sneak away from the area while everyone was preoccupied. He couldn't help to follow her to see what was going on. He found her sitting alone on the rocky beach, hiding behind a large group of boulders.

Kaidan grinned. "Ha…so this is why you snuck off on your own."

Ashley sighed guiltily and took a long drag from her cigarette. "You caught me. Just don't turn me in to Chakwas about this. I lied on my physical."

Kaidan chuckled and sat down next to her. "I didn't know you smoked, Ash."

"Officially, I don't." She slowly let out a breath of smoke. "But something about this planet is making me nervous as hell."

"Yeah, we can all feel it. Maybe it's because we're so close to Saren." Kaidan ruminated.

"Maybe." Ashley replied. She casually offered Kaidan her cigarette. "Want a puff?"

"No thanks. I quit that a long time ago."

"Good for you. It's a nasty habit." She placed it back into her mouth.

After a minute of watching the waves crash against the shore, Kaidan turned to Ashley. "I thought you were really going to shoot Wrex back there."

"Well, I was really going to do it."

"Good thing the Commander talked him down." Kaidan murmured.

"Damn Shepard." Ashley sighed. "Wrex was ready to plow her down with his shotgun. I would've shot him if she didn't get in my line of sight."

"She probably knew he wasn't really going to do it." He reasoned.

Ashley let out a short laugh. "God…you and Shepard are so alike. You're both too damned nice for your own good."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Kaidan replied.

Ashley blew out a swirl of smoke. "So you haven't hit that yet?"

"You're such a romantic, Ash."

"It was an honest question." Ashley grinned widely. "Can't blame me for being a little curious."

"No, I haven't 'hit that' yet." Kaidan said flatly.

"Damn. I'm going to lose the betting pool."

"Betting pool? What betting pool?"

"A bunch of us got together and put in some credits on when you and Shepard would finally get around to doing it." Ashley explained nonchalantly. "Serves me right for picking such an early date. At this rate, Joker's probably going to win."

"You guys have money on this?" Kaidan asked incredulously.

"Of course. It's not like you and Shepard are making that much of an effort to hide it. T'soni's already out of the running…I guess she assumed you would've succeeded by now. If you don't score with Shepard by next week, then I'm out of the game."

"For crying out loud…"

"Tell you what, LT. If you get her in bed with you before then, I'll split the money with you." Ashley offered devilishly.

"Just shut up, Ash. I'm going to pretend you didn't say any of this." Kaidan grumbled. "It's hard enough without knowing that other people are gambling on it."

Ashley laughed quietly and took another puff from her cigarette. "On a related subject, tell me, LT…that woman we saw back on the Citadel…"

"Rahna?"

"Yeah, her. Do you have anything going on with her?"

"With Rahna? No...no." Kaidan shook his head. "I used to…a long time ago. But not anymore."

"Huh." Ashley returned her gaze back to the waters.

"Why ask?"

Ashley hesitated. "Do me a favor, LT. Be careful around that girl."

"What?" Kaidan was about to laugh but saw the serious expression on Ashley's face. "Why do you say that?"

"Something about her…" Ashley furrowed her brow. When she first saw that Rahna woman back on the Citadel, she couldn't help thinking that something about her was off. It was like watching an actor in a play. She was too innocent…too delighted…

Too fake.

"What about her, Ash?" Kaidan asked.

Ashley took a final drag of her cigarette and flicked the filter into the water. "Just be careful with who you keep close, LT."

"Uh…all right." Kaidan answered, still confused.

Ashley stood up and brushed the sand off her pants. "Let's get back to the camp."

Kaidan also rose up. "Are you sure you don't want another cigarette? I'm sure Shepard's a little busy going over plans with Captain Kirrahe."

Ashley chuckled. "I'm good." She then paused for a moment before looking at Kaidan. "Hey, LT."

"Yeah?"

"If I end up dying on the battlefield…I have a pack of cigarettes stashed in a sock in my locker. I don't want to die with people thinking I gave into my vices, so smoke them up for me, will you?"

Kaidan slowly nodded. "All right. And if it happens to me, I have a stash of fifteen year old scotch I hid away in my foot locker that's all yours."

"Hell, LT. If that's what you have, you better smoke up that pack _and_ drink up that bottle in my memory in one night!" Ashley slapped him between his shoulders. "Come on, let's go back."

* * *

"Move, move, move!" Shepard barked as her squad mates swiftly moved down the ramp, carrying the large nuclear bomb off the Normandy.

As they planted it firmly to the ground, Shepard ordered them to get back onto the ship. "Leave the arming to me!"

"Let me help!" Ashley broke off from the group and quickly squatted beside Shepard, bringing up her omni-tool to input the intricate coding.

"Chief, get back on the ship and help the others! I got this."

"No way, Shepard." Ashley began typing rapidly into her holo screen. "You forget, explosives are my specialty. We can't risk any mistakes."

Shepard was about to force Ashley back onto the Normandy but was interrupted by a sudden update on her commlink. "Shepard!"

Shepard broke out into a cold sweat. "What's your status, Lieutenant?"

"The geth keep coming to the AA Towers-" Heavy static briefly interrupted the link. "-taken heavy casualties!"

"Then pull out and meet us at the rendezvous point!" Shepard yelled into her comm.

"Negative! We're pinned down! We'll stay and fight them off, just hurry up and arm that nuke!"

Ashley grabbed Shepard's arm and looked her in the eye. "I can do this, Commander. Go grab LT at the AA Towers and come back here."

Shepard reluctantly nodded. "All right. Just give us a few minutes, Chief."

Shepard ran back into the Normandy's hatch and the ship immediately lifted off the ground to make its way to the AA Towers. She quickly turned to the others. "Tali, get to the engineering deck and make sure our drive core is ready to bolt out! Liara, go help Chakwas with Kirrahe's squad! Wrex, get to the armaments deck and prepare to fire the giant gun to cover us on our escape. Garrus, go to Joker and help him plot the course of our escape within the next ten minutes!"

"What about you, Shepard?" Garrus asked.

"I'm staying here. I'm going to help Kaidan and what's left of his squad get onto the Normandy." She cocked her assault rifle. "Go!"

Her team mates scattered off, obeying her orders.

_Please keep them safe, please keep them safe_. Shepard repeated to herself, hoping that any benevolent deity could answer her. She kept getting flashbacks of her fight back on Akuze, watching the thresher maw kill her friends off, one by one.

After a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, Shepard received a hail on the private channel of her commlink. "Shepard!" Kaidan's breathlessly gasped her name.

"I hear you, Alenko." Shepard replied, trying to keep herself steady.

"I wanted to tell you…" Kaidan began, trying to yell over the sound of battle.

"What is it?"

"If anything happens…don't mourn me, okay?"

"Don't worry, Alenko." Shepard's fingers clenched the rifle in her hands. "Nothing's going to happen to you."

"Yeah." Shepard could hear the gunfire in the background and she could tell Kaidan was trying to keep his voice calm. "But just in case, there's one more thing I want you to know…"

Her stomach tightened with anticipation. Was he going to confess? "What is it, Alenko?" She croaked.

"I discovered…" There was another pause as the sound of gunfire echoed over the comm.

She felt a fluttering in her chest. "Yeah?"

"…Everyone on the Normandy is in on a pool on when we're going to sleep together." Kaidan finished.

The butterflies in her stomach vanished with those words. Shepard blinked as her mouth gaped open. "Wait…what?"

Kaidan was struggling to speak because he was short on breath. "Ash told me…that everyone put in fifty credits…winner gets the pool…if the date they picked…is closest to when we have sex!"

Shepard felt her eye twitch. "They're betting on when we're going to do it?"

"Yeah, I thought you'd like to know!" Kaidan said loudly over the sound of his pistol fire.

After a few seconds of silence, Shepard broke out into uncontrollable laughter. "You've got to be kidding! I can't believe…it's got to be Joker that started it…I'm so going to tear him a new one…"

Shepard could almost hear Kaidan grinning. "I'm glad I got to hear you laugh befo…"

Suddenly his connection went silent.

"Hello…Hello? Come in, Alenko? Hello!" Shepard began to feel the panic creeping up into her being. "Kaidan, if you can hear me, just give us a few seconds and we'll be there. Stay alive. That's an order!" She demanded harshly into her comm.

Shepard fumbled with her earpiece, trying to get a hold her pilot. "Joker! How long until we reach the AA Towers?"

"Give me a minute and we're there, Commander."

"Shit." She swore. From what she could hear over Kaidan's comm, he may not be able to hold out for another minute.

Shepard sent a hail to Ashley. "Chief! Are you okay over there?"

"I'm fine, Commander. Just a few geth shooting at me but it's nothing I can't handle. The nuke is almost ready. Don't worry about me, just get LT!" Ashley shouted.

Shepard nodded to herself. Ashley could handle herself against a few drones. As soon as the Normandy picked Kaidan up, they would fly back to the bomb zone and fetch Ashley. It would only take a few minutes.

"We're here!" Joker announced on the intercom. "Opening the hatch. Grab Kaidan and let's get the hell out of this firefight!"

As the hatch doors opened, Shepard immediately began to shoot at whatever appeared to be metal and moving. Kaidan had not been exaggerating when he said that the geth were pressing hard against this area. To the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar color of blue ripple in the air.

Behind a flimsy metal crate, Kaidan had a biotic bubble shielding Kirrahe and another salarian soldier. The three of them appeared to be wounded, but fighting back the best they could. She could tell by the grimace on Kaidan's face that the shield would not last long.

Shepard dove into the bubble, narrowly avoiding a geth rocket that had been aimed at her head, and joined them into the cover. She could see the relief in Kaidan's eyes.

"Nice of you to join us, Commander!" He yelled over the loud gunfire.

"The Normandy's only a few feet away! I'll cover you!" She shouted at them.

"Lieutenant Alenko is injured, Commander! We're out of medi-gel!" Kirrahe pointed to a hastily wrapped bandage on Kaidan's calf that was dripping red with blood.

"I'm fine! I can only keep this barrier up for a few more seconds…are you ready, Shepard?"

Shepard wrapped Kaidan's free arm around her shoulder to help him run. "Ready! Let's go!"

The four of them ran through the midst of bullets, saved by Kaidan's biotic shield which moved with him. As they ran into the open hatch of the ship, she heard the familiar sound of the Normandy's offensive guns begin to fire upon the geth. Even though the guns couldn't destroy them all, it bought the Normandy time to close its doors and escape.

Kaidan's shield gave out as soon as the hatch closed and he fell to the floor in pain. Shepard and the salarians rushed over to make sure he was still conscious.

"I'm all right." Kaidan waved them off, wincing from his leg. "Let's grab Ashley and get out of here!"

Shepard nodded and activated her commlink again. "Head over to the bomb site, Joker. We're getting Ashley."

Before Joker could reply, they heard Ashley's voice over the comm. "No, you're not. Get the hell out of here. The nuke is going to go off in sixty seconds!"

"What are you talking about, Chief?" Shepard yelled.

"The geth are swarming all over the place! I have no choice but to detonate the bomb before they deactivate it. Get away from here or else the nuke will kill you all."

"We're coming to get you!" Shepard frantically shouted. "Joker, go-"

"Joker, you better fly away fast or else you're all going to get caught in the explosion!" Ashley interrupted Shepard's command.

"Ashley…" Shepard trailed off.

"It's okay, Commander. I was supposed to die with the rest of my squad back on Eden Prime. I can't think of a more honorable death than to allow the people of the Normandy to escape."

After a few precious seconds of silence, Shepard murmured. "Joker, do what she says."

"Brace for…acceleration." Joker said lowly on the intercom.

They could feel the Normandy's drive kick in as it prepared to launch away from Virmire's atmosphere.

"Ash…" Kaidan choked.

Over Ashley's comm, they could hear the geth slowly advancing on her position. Ashley took a deep breath and began to recite:

"Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are…one equal temper of heroic hearts…made weak by time and fate, but strong in will…to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield…"

The Normandy propelled away from Virmire a mere few seconds before the bomb had exploded. Shepard and the others couldn't bring themselves to look out a window to see the shroud of smoke form over a small site on the planet's surface.

* * *

**A/N:** I know there's a lot of people who have a dislike for Ashley, but I never really hated her. She always seemed like a little sister to Kaidan and Shepard. I know everyone argues she was xenophobic, but I always thought she got better as she fought with Garrus and all the others.

For poetry fanatics, Ashley's last words in this chapter are from Tennyson's poem Ulysses...(which is a pretty awesome poem even if you're not a fan of classic poetry ^_~)

Thank you all for your comments and support!


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Exhausted, Shepard slowly walked down the ramps of the docking bay, making her way back to the Normandy. They had just dropped Kirrahe and his team off at the Citadel where they will arrange to have a salarian ship take them back to their homeworld. The captain and what was left of his men had given Shepard their deep condolences about Ashley's death.

"We'll make sure that she'll have a place on the memorial we plan to place on Sur'Kesh." Kirrahe promised.

Shepard shook her head. "I doubt it, Captain. The Council didn't seem to care much about what happened on Virmire."

Kirrahe had clucked his tongue at Shepard. "Trust me, Commander. Unlike the Council, I know what needs to be done."

Kirrahe was on the money with that statement, that's for damned sure.

Not only did the Council wave off Shepard's warnings about an imminent reaper attack, Udina took it upon himself to ground the Normandy until further notice.

Shepard was too tired to feel angry about it. Whenever she was fatigued, she normally relied on Ashley to get furious on her behalf.

And Ashley was gone and the Council didn't give a shit about what she had died for.

All she could do now was to return to her cabin in the Normandy and sleep it off. If they were all going to die in a reaper attack, she might as well be rested so she can savor every moment when she gives the finger to the Council while she screams, "I told you so" before they all died in a fiery explosion.

The Normandy should be pretty much empty at the moment. Since Virmire, the crew had been giving her wide girth. Even though it was business as usual, it appeared that the crew was going straight to Pressley whenever an issue arose. Kaidan had disappeared into the med bay and she hasn't seen him since. Even Joker didn't have any wry comments to Shepard as he normally did.

As for her squad mates, Garrus and Tali appeared to be keeping themselves busy by running maintenance rounds on the Normandy's systems. Liara was occupied with re-reading her notes on the prothean data recovered from Eden Prime. Wrex was bunkered down in his cot in the shuttle bay, pretending to be asleep. It seemed that even her friends were trying to give her the time alone to grieve.

Which was sad because she didn't want it. She knew Chief would kick her ass if she allowed herself to be wallow in self-pity.

As she approached the Normandy's dock, she saw someone sitting on one of the maintenance benches, staring at the ship.

She drew closer and her eyes widened at the sight of a drunken Kaidan Alenko, with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other.

"Alenko! What are you doing?" Shepard exclaimed.

Kaidan slowly lifted his glassy eyes and a wide grin broke out on his face. "Shepard! I'm glad to see you! Why don't you join me and we can enjoy this beautiful view of a grounded ship?"

Shepard looked over Kaidan's wounded calf. "How's your leg?"

"All better now. The miracle of medi-gel." Kaidan tapped his knee with the bottle in his hand.

Shepard joined him on the bench and watched with disbelief as Kaidan took a long drag from a cigarette. "I had no idea you smoked."

He blew out a cloud of smoke. "I don't…well…I _did_…but I quit it years ago. Disgusting habit. It was hell to quit too…fucking Ash."

"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan stared at the cigarette between his fingers. "Ash told me that if she died, she wanted me to smoke up her stashed pack of cigarettes and drink my hidden reserve of scotch in one night. So here I am, smoking after fifteen fucking years of nicotine freedom and drinking down a special bottle of Highland Park that I was saving for my fortieth birthday. What a bitch."

Shepard let out a small laugh. "All right. What are you doing out here then? Wouldn't it be easier for you to do this inside the Normandy?"

After taking another deep drag, he flicked the filter off the railing and reached into his breast pocket for another cigarette. "Pssh…and stink up my belongings with the sweet smell of tobacco? It was hard enough to quit the first time." He pulled out the pack and held it up to her. "Want one, Commander?"

"No thanks, but I'll take that bottle off your hands."

Kaidan handed her the half-empty bottle of scotch and Shepard took a sip, relishing the taste. "Wow, that's good."

"Isn't it? It would've been better on my fortieth birthday. But Ash just had to go and die on me. Damn it." He placed another cigarette between his lips and pulled out a lighter.

"You're mourning." Shepard pointed out.

"No, I'm not. I'm pissed. There's a difference."

Shepard took another drink. "Ash went out like a hero."

"A fucking hero." Kaidan agreed, letting out another breath of smoke.

They spent a content moment staring at their ship, amicably passing the bottle of scotch between them.

"Any migraines?"

"I was beginning to get one, but Doctor Chakwas took pity on me and gave me the good stuff before it got bad. Good thing she did, because it sobered me up so I can get drunk."

"Give me a few minutes and I can catch up to you." Shepard put the bottle to her lips again.

Kaidan tapped the ash off his cigarette. "I shouldn't be letting you drink that. We need you clear-headed so you can save the galaxy from the reapers."

"What am I supposed to do when I'm grounded on the Citadel? Kill the reapers with the power of bureaucracy?" She sarcastically asked.

Kaidan chuckled. "Well, I guess it is a cruel way to kill someone."

Shepard sighed. "Anderson and I came up with an idea to get out of here…but it'll involve us going against the Alliance. We can all get slapped with a court martial for going AWOL."

"It's hard to be scared of a little thing like a court martial when you're about to be wiped out by an army of synthetic beings." Kaidan grinned. "Do what you have to do, Commander. You know that I…I mean…_we're_ all with you until the end, right?"

"I know. I just don't want you guys to pay for a mistake that I made."

"Shepard, we're with you because we're loyal to _you_, not to the Alliance. Seriously, screw Udina up his arrogant ass for keeping us here to keep appearances when he knows there's something big coming this way and we're the only ones that can stop it."

"But still…" Shepard pursed her lips.

Kaidan shook his head. "No buts. Get the Normandy out of here, Shepard. We'll all be with you when you go against Saren…and we'll also be there when you tell Udina to go fuck himself after it's all done."

Shepard laughed quietly. "Should I be taking your advice when you're drunk?"

Kaidan dropped his cigarette and crushed it against the ground with his foot. "I've been told I'm a pretty rational drunk."

Shepard smiled and placed the bottle of scotch at his feet. "Okay, Alenko. You win. I'm going to get us out of here."

"Wow. I was able to talk Commander Shepard into disobeying her superiors. I must be having a lucky day." Kaidan leaned in. "Maybe I could talk you into something else."

"Alenko…" Shepard laughed.

Kaidan gently pushed Shepard onto her back and braced his hands against the sides of the bench, trapping her in between his arms. He bent down to whisper into her ear, "Remember what you told me when we first met? Why don't we make this a memorable night?"

"Right here?" She asked coyly.

"Why not?" Kaidan's lips were brushing gently against her neck as he spoke. "Everyone is already watching us. Why don't we give them what they want?"

As he leaned in for the kiss, Shepard firmly planted her hand against his chest to stop him. "As tempting as you are, Alenko, I can't bring myself to take advantage of you while you're drunk."

"I told you, Shepard…I'm a pretty rational drunk." He grinned foolishly.

"No offense, but…" She stifled a smile. "Kissing you right now would be like kissing an ashtray."

Kaidan let out a frustrated sigh as he dropped his head on Shepard's shoulder. "Disgusting habit. Damn it."

Shepard laughed softly and wrapped her arms around Kaidan's neck. "We'll have our night. I'm just going to let you sober up so we can both enjoy it."

"I'm holding you to that. When I wake up and I can't remember a god-damned thing, you better keep your word." Kaidan mumbled into her hair.

"You got it." She promised and planted a small kiss on his cheek.

* * *

The shuttle arrived safely in the Instanbul spaceport from its long journey from the Citadel. As the hatches flew open, the passengers were greeted by an instant wave of muggy heat.

She was wearing a white dress suit with matching white gloves. Her eyes were shaded with a pair of dark sunglasses. She was the first to saunter off the shuttle and a large man wearing a black suit waited for her on the ground, immediately bowing his head as she appeared on the ramp. A flight attendant scurried behind her, carrying her baggage.

"Miss Rahna, we have your transport ready to take you to your home." The man in black dutifully took her suitcases from the attendant.

The heels on Rahna's strapped shoes clicked sharply against the concrete as she walked. "Very good. What about my mother and father?"

He effortlessly walked beside her even with his hands full of her luggage. "They are currently busy with their schedules, but they will see you tonight for dinner at eight o'clock."

Rahna simply nodded and kept her eyes forward. Several people turned to gape at her as she breezed past them. She was used to the attention…after all, her family has been deeply entrenched in the country's ministry for decades.

As they arrived at her limousine, her guard quickly placed her suitcases in the storage compartment and then assisted Rahna into the vehicle.

Before he closed the door, he turned to her. "I will be sending your father a message letting him know that you have arrived with no incident. But he wishes to know why you suddenly decided to return to Earth, Miss Rahna."

"Just tell him not to worry. I won't be here for long." Rahna replied as she sat back into the plush leather seat.

Her guard nodded in assent and closed the door.

* * *

**A/N:** Please note, the next chapter will contain scenes of sexual nature. If you do not wish to read it, then please skip it. **Don't say I never warned you.** ^_^

Again, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU all so much for your sweet comments of support! It was so humbling when I saw all the people faving/following this fic. T_T


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Again, please note this chapter is MA only. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. =)

I did my best to edit the smut to be as tasteful as possible (It was originally much too long and detailed. Damn Shenko for being so fun to write about =_=)...so I apologize in advance if anyone felt that it was too lemony~

Again, thanks for all the comments and follows!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

The atmosphere amongst the crew of the Normandy was almost electric with excitement. They had just escaped the Citadel lockdown and were on their way to Ilos, and in the process they have become fugitives running from the Alliance and the Council.

The mess sergeant had surprised everyone by breaking open a case of special krogan ale he had liberated from an Alliance supply station before they fled the Citadel. Under normal circumstances, it was extremely unwise to drink before an important mission.

But everybody's mindset was the same…there was a good possibility that it would be their last day of existence, so why not enjoy what little time they may have left?

Kaidan watched the crew gather around Wrex and Garrus as they were deeply immersed in their drinking contest. Credits were flying everywhere as bets were being placed between them. Even Liara, who normally shied away from such events, threw a hundred credits into the pot. Nobody noticed Kaidan as he slipped away and headed to the cabins of the one person who wasn't present in the festivities.

As he entered the cabin, he saw Shepard sitting in a chair with her feet propped up on her desk. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she reviewed a report on a tablet. She didn't even look up to see who her visitor was.

"Close the door behind you. The noise is making it difficult for me to hear my own thoughts." She muttered, her eyes still glued to her tablet.

Kaidan punched the lock on the door and approached her. "I'm surprised you're not joining the party out there."

Shepard shook her head. "I have too many things to take care of before we land on Ilos. I'm looking over Liara's research notes again. There's got to be something to give us an edge before we run into Saren again."

Kaidan walked over to the desk and leaned against it. "You've got to relax, Commander. You've done everything right. You don't have to go over everything again to find out something you already know."

Shepard finally lifted her eyes from the tablet and looked at Kaidan. "Anderson would be doing this, you know."

"No. Anderson would probably be out there slapping sanctions on all the crew for drinking stolen alcohol."

Shepard snorted. "No, he wouldn't. He didn't do anything when he caught us in the laundry room with that stolen whiskey."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "He didn't do anything to _you_. He threatened _me_."

Shepard laughed in disbelief. "Really? For what?"

"He just said if I screwed up with you, I would end up with a boot up my ass." Kaidan said flatly.

"Bullshit. Anderson said _that_?"

Kaidan crossed his heart. "I swear it."

"What did he mean by screwing up with me?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

Kaidan cleared his throat. "He overheard your joke about…uh…sleeping with me."

Shepard waved him off. "Anderson wasn't serious."

"He looked pretty serious with me. Men don't tend to joke about that kind of stuff…especially a man who sees you as his daughter."

Shepard's expression turned soft. "He just worries about me too much."

"So do I." Kaidan took the tablet from her hands and placed it on the desk. "Like I said, Shepard…you need to relax. You've taken care of everything. There's no need to stress about it anymore."

Shepard sighed. "You're that concerned over my well-being, huh?"

"Well, I know that things aren't right when Commander Shepard turns down a chance to drink." Kaidan grinned.

Shepard smiled as she slowly stood up from her chair and went over to Kaidan. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck. Almost naturally, Kaidan's arms wound around her waist. "All right, Alenko. Did you bring any of it with you?"

Kaidan grimaced. "No…I'm still recuperating from that bottle of scotch the other day. Things are still a little hazy."

Shepard laughed. "Does that mean you also forgot about our plans once you sobered up?"

"Oh…uh…I've been meaning to tell you…I'm sorry if I did anything inappropriate back on the Citadel. I was kind of…out of it." He apologized.

"Are you trying to take back your proposition?" Shepard asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No! I mean…not if you don't want to. What I mean is that if you think it was too sudden, then I won't question it…since we're Alliance and all…well, I guess we're not…but still…"

Shepard quickly leaned in and pressed her lips against his, silencing him. As she slowly backed away, she whispered. "Shut up and get into bed with me, Alenko."

"Thank God." Kaidan hissed through his teeth and grabbed Shepard's face, fusing his mouth with hers.

Her hands immediately went to work on removing his uniform and a moan escaped her throat as Kaidan lifted her off the ground and had her panned against the wall. As his fingers tore at the buttons on her top, she found the strength to wrench her lips away for a quick second to roughly say, "Bed, later. Right here, Alenko."

With no complaints, he kissed her hard, roughly stripping off her suit, revealing her creamy skin underneath. He groaned at the sight of the lacy black bra that covered the swell of her breasts. "You're trying to kill me before I get a chance to have you, aren't you?"

Shepard simply let out a seductive laugh. "I should be the one to say that. God, you're chiseled like a damned work of art." She ran her hands over his hard skin, relishing at how his muscles tensed wherever she touched.

Kaidan moved his hands between her legs and eased his fingers into her. He watched her arch against him, a sexy moan escaping her lips. She lifted her leg against his side, which he took hold of with his other hand, caressing the smooth skin of her inner thighs. A whimper escaped her throat as he stroked her into a frenzy.

Her orgasm was sudden and shocking, striking her like a bolt of lightning. A sheen of sweat covered her skin as she slumped against him as the first wave of euphoria washed over her.

"Don't call it quits yet." Kaidan harshly whispered into her ear, his hands fisted in her hair.

Shepard nipped at his neck. "Not even close."

His hands lifted her hips and she quickly wrapped her legs around him, ready and anticipating. "Hurry, hurry." She chanted, pressing herself against him.

Unable to hold back any longer, he plunged into her, his fingers digging into her backside. Her hands were everywhere, leaving trails of heat wherever she touched. He buried his face into her hair as she fervently kissed along his muscled shoulders.

He groaned as he felt her lift her legs, drawing him deeper inside. He moved with hard desperation, savoring every moment she enveloped him. He felt something break inside him as if a limiter was released and with a burst of blue illumination, a shockwave pulsated around them.

"Kaidan!" She gasped as the biotic pull launched her into another startling release.

Incapable to holding back a second longer, he let go, and with a flash of blue light, felt himself sink into oblivion.

* * *

"Kaidan…"

A breathless voice broke into the beautiful darkness of his senses. His mouth moved wordlessly while he tried to figure out if he was still breathing.

"Kaidan…please…" The voice pleaded.

He willed his fingers to move and felt the sensation of hot damp skin. It seemed that his sense of touch was returning. It was reassuring to know he wasn't dead. He was still bound inside a comfortable warmth that he was unwilling to escape from.

"Help me…"

He felt the touch of lips all around his face. His eyelids fluttered and slowly opened, revealing a blurry but beautiful sight before him. As his sight focused, he saw the color of sea-goddess green staring back at him. They were somehow in her bed, their limbs wonderfully tangled midst a chaos of strewn bedsheets. She was sprawled out on top of him, gorgeously naked.

"Shepard…" A cracked voice emerged from his dry throat.

"Water." She croaked, her fingers tracing around his chest.

"Water?" The word was unfamiliar in his muddled mind.

Shepard exhaustingly pointed to a bottle of water that was on a locker across the room. "I can't move. I need water. Please…I'll do anything. Just get me water. Please, Kaidan." She begged hoarsely.

Kaidan mutely nodded and slowly lifted his arm. His body began to glow blue, and the water bottle floated up into the air, drifting sluggishly towards the bed. With a grunt, the bottle dropped into his hand and the biotic light from his body disappeared. He held the bottle to her face and Shepard groggily took it from him, pressing her parched lips on the opening to drink the contents.

Before he could drift back into the lovely world of unconsciousness, Shepard pressed a finger down on his chin to force his lips open. "Drink." She ordered before she spilled water into his mouth.

He sputtered and swallowed down a mouthful of water before he took hold of her wrist to take the bottle away. She laughed as he coughed himself awake. "I'm up, I'm up." He gasped for air.

Shepard kissed him softly. "Sorry, but after such a great performance, it seemed wrong to let you die from thirst."

Kaidan dropped his head back onto the mattress. "I'm just glad I got you into bed."

"Mm-hm." She tossed the empty water bottle aside. "It took you a while but we made it."

"Did it? It's all a crazy blur."

"The wall…the floor…the desk…and then finally the bed." Shepard laughed. "If the Normandy could talk, it would be congratulating us on violating every orifice of this cabin."

Kaidan gave Shepard an exhausted grin. "I'm glad we made good on what Alliance resources we were able to escape with."

Shepard sighed and laid her head back on his chest. "Well, now I can't give the Normandy back to them. It's way too essential for my stress-relief."

"The Normandy, huh? What about me?"

"I think it's a given that you come with the ship, Kaidan."

Kaidan hid his grin. Shepard was now calling him by his first name. "So tell me…where does this whole thing leave us?"

"Hm…" She folded her hands on his chest and laid her chin against them. "Joking aside, I guess I have to return the Normandy back to the Alliance if I don't want them to place a bounty on me."

He pinched her bottom. "You know what I mean."

Shepard laughed. "Okay, okay. How would _you_ like this to become?"

"I don't know, that's why I asked you." Kaidan rubbed his hand over his face.

Shepard took a minute to think it over. "All right then. Since both of us haven't been in a relationship in a semi-long period of time…how about we just appreciate what we have right now?"

"Meaning…?"

"No long term plans." She kissed his chin. "Let's just enjoy the moment."

"I guess we both haven't had much luck in that sort of thing, have we?" He murmured.

"Right." She lifted her face over his, her eyes twinkling. "But I still get to sleep with you whenever I want."

Kaidan chuckled and raised his arms to embrace her tightly to his chest. "I think I can agree to those terms."

They lay quietly together for a long moment, simply enjoying the feeling of their heartbeats beating in sync against one another. "How long until we get the Ilos?" He asked.

Shepard turned her head to look at the alarm clock on her nightstand. "Looks like we should be arriving in about half an hour…" She gave him a crafty smile. "Plenty of time for another round."

Kaidan suppressed a groan. "I appreciate the confidence. My mind is willing, but my body is out of commission."

She slowly sat up and straddled him. "Come on, Kaidan. I know you're getting your fifth wind." She murmured, caressing his abdomen.

Before he could protest, she lifted herself onto him, and his mind went blank.

* * *

"Arriving in the Pangaea Expanse in five minutes." Joker quickly announced over the intercom and switched it off.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Kaidan slowly shuffling towards him. "Hey, Kaidan."

"Hey." Kaidan lurched forward and heavily braced his arms against Joker's chair.

"What's wrong with you? Did you have too much to drink?" Joker eyed his friend's hobbled walk.

"Don't worry about it." Kaidan waved off his concern and leaned forward. "I'm just here to collect."

"Collect? Collect what?"

"The pool."

"Uh…I don't know what you're talking about." Joker kept his eyes on his navigation panel.

"Cut the crap, Joker. I know you're the one managing it."

"Damn it." Joker threw his hands up and turned to him. "Who told you?"

"Ash." Kaidan held out a hand. "And I know her timeframe is still in effect, so hand it over."

"What? Why should you get the pool? That isn't fair."

"Because Ash promised me half the pot if she won. She's not here to collect, so…succession rules say that the funds go to the secondary beneficiary…which is me."

"That's bullshit!" Joker exclaimed. "That doesn't entitle you to anything!"

Kaidan shrugged. "Well, I guess in cases of disputes like this, the commanding officer of the ship would be the one to settle the argument…"

"Shit." Joker muttered. He reluctantly reached into his pocket and shoved a credit chit into Kaidan's hand. "Take it, you asshole."

Kaidan tossed the chit into the air and caught it gracefully with a swipe of his hand. "Thank you. The proceeds will go toward the Ashley Williams memorial fund."

"Yeah, yeah." Joker paused and gave Kaidan a knowing look. "So…was Shepard hot in the sack?"

"What do you think?" Kaidan turned around to leave.

As the Lieutenant limped out of the cockpit, Joker smirked and returned his attention back to his navigation screens.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

From the balcony of the embassy offices, Shepard stared out at the presidium, taking in the view. Structures and buildings were torn asunder, smoking piles of wreckage were scattered at every block, and the frantic wails of the sirens from C-Sec's rescue vehicles were constantly blaring out. The chaotic scene of massive destruction was homage to their victory.

Shepard sighed as she stared down at the intricately designed medal that was freshly pinned on her uniform. It didn't feel much like a victory.

She heard him approach, but didn't react when Kaidan joined her. "You're missing your own party." He said as he folded his arms and leaned against the railing.

"I didn't ask for one." Shepard sighed.

"They have cake."

"Oh, well…If there's cake!" She sarcastically exclaimed.

"It's a good cake." Kaidan grinned. "Tastes great with Udina's tears."

Shepard laughed. "He must be out of his pea-brained mind if he sincerely thought I was going to recommend him as humanity's new Councilor. I wish I had a camera ready to catch that lovely moment when Anderson was appointed."

"Udina looked like he was having a stroke." Kaidan noted.

"Yeah. It was beautiful." Shepard wistfully sighed and laid her chin against her folded arms.

Kaidan let out a small chuckle and turned to her. "Everyone's looking for you."

Shepard didn't reply. She simply kept gazing out into the distance.

"The others want to say their goodbyes." Kaidan added softly.

Shepard just shook her head. "Garrus is going back to C-sec, Wrex is going to Tuchanka to prepare his clan, and Tali is going back to the Migrant Fleet with her findings. Everyone is leaving me."

"Not everyone." Kaidan said. "I'm still here…and so is Liara, Joker, and Pressley."

"Yeah." Shepard sighed again.

"It's not like you'll never see them again."

"I know. Just feels lonely, that's all." Shepard replied quietly.

Kaidan remained silent for a moment as he mulled over a thought. "Hey, Shepard…"

"Hm?"

"While the Normandy is going under repairs for the next few days, what are you planning on doing in the meantime?"

Shepard shrugged. "Not sure. I don't really feel like talking to reporters or ambassadors. I guess I'll stay low on the Citadel until we're ready to ship out again."

Kaidan hesitated before asking, "How would you like to come back to Earth with me?"

"Earth?" Shepard turned to look at Kaidan.

"Since we have a couple days of shore leave, I was planning on going back to Vancouver to see my parents. Do you want to join me?"

"Your parents." Shepard repeated, eyeing him suspiciously.

Kaidan lifted his hands. "I know, I know. We had the agreement about no long-term plans. I swear this isn't like that. My family home is a big place and I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me."

Shepard mulled over his suggestion. "I don't know, Kaidan…"

Kaidan took her hand and pulled her close. "If it'll make it easier on you, I won't even tell them about our involvement. You'll just be someone I invited down to enjoy the countryside."

Shepard nervously began to think about what would happen. It wasn't that she didn't care for Kaidan…but she was unsure about the prospect of meeting his mother and father. Ever since her parents had died back on Mindoir, being around other families made her uncomfortable. And though Anderson was like a surrogate father, even he was a cross to bear with sometimes.

She hadn't really thought about having a family of her own. Not since the incident with _that bastard _almost a decade ago.

Before Shepard could answer, they heard the sound of footsteps slowly approaching them. They turned around and saw Liara shyly walking up to them. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt you both."

"It's okay, Liara." Shepard took a step away from Kaidan and waved her forward. "What's going on?"

"The Council is looking for you, so I volunteered to track you down. It's not much of a party when the guest of honor is missing from it." Liara smiled.

Shepard threw her hands up in surrender. "Fine, I'll come back. Apparently it's not a party when I'm not there."

Liara looked at Kaidan. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard you saying that you're going back to Earth for a few days?"

"Uh, yeah. That was the plan." Kaidan quickly glanced at Shepard.

"Then it's good timing." Liara folded her hands behind her back. "I was invited by Admiral Hackett to stop by the Alliance base on Vancouver to talk to him about the Prothean artifacts we uncovered while we were on Ilos. I can join you on the shuttle."

Before Kaidan could say anything, she quickly turned to Shepard. "If you're not doing anything, may I ask you to accompany us? It's my first trip to Earth and I'm a little apprehensive about the voyage."

Placed on the spot, Shepard's eyes darted between both Kaidan and Liara. "Um…sure. I guess I'll go to Earth with you both."

Liara smiled. "That's good to hear. If you'd like, I can ask them to set up quarter arrangements for you while we're there."

Shepard gave a sheepish grin to Kaidan before answering Liara. "That's okay. I think I'll take Kaidan's offer and stay with him."

Liara nodded. "Thank you, Shepard. It makes me feel better knowing that you'll be coming with us."

"Yeah, it does." Kaidan added, throwing a shrewd glance at Liara.

"Shepard!"

The three of them jumped at the shout and spun around to see a furious David Anderson, decked out in his new Councilor attire. He hastily strode over and grabbed Shepard by her arm. "You've got to stop running off at these functions. Everyone is looking for you. The Council needs to give away a Trophy of Valor and they're missing a Spectre to hand it to."

Shepard gave an exaggerated slump of her shoulders as Anderson led her away. "But it's _boring_." She moaned.

"Then think twice the next time you decide to save the Citadel from a reaper and its invading army of geth…" Anderson scolded her as he dragged her out the door.

After the sound of Shepard's whining slowly disappeared down the halls, Kaidan turned to Liara. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" Liara asked innocently.

"Why did you help me with Shepard? You're not really afraid of a brief shuttle ride to Earth, are you?"

Liara laughed. "Of course not."

"Then why?" He asked.

A slow smile appeared on Liara's face. "Sometimes, even our Commander needs a push in the right direction."

Kaidan, still puzzled after her answer, gave her a slow nod. "Then…I guess I should say, thank you."

"You're welcome. We should probably go back and watch the ceremony. It really is a lovely party…I don't know why Shepard doesn't find them entertaining."

Kaidan chuckled. "I think it's only entertaining on our end." He offered Liara the crook of his arm. "Shall we?"

Liara gracefully threaded her arm through his. "Yes, let's."

* * *

"We could've grabbed a shuttle from the base, you know." Shepard mused.

"I'm sure the Alliance would be thrilled to find one of their ships missing." Kaidan replied, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.

"But we'd get there within five minutes." Shepard grinned devilishly.

"Unfortunately, my parents don't have a landing strip at their house. It's against zoning laws." Kaidan joked dryly. "Just sit back and enjoy the view."

"Well…I never complained about the scenery." Shepard conceded and stared out the window.

Kaidan had rented a small black car for their trip. As they drove down the winding coastal road towards his parent's home, Shepard couldn't help to be fascinated by the sight of lush green forests and rocky beaches.

"You act like you've never seen a tree before." He teased her.

Shepard shrugged. "Can't help it. When I was growing up on Mindoir, we didn't have any greenery…unless you count the damned weeds that kept popping up in the potato patches. Since then, I've basically only been on military bases and ships. It's nice seeing a change from all the steel and concrete."

"Then you'll love my parent's place. Their house has an incredible view over English Bay. I'll take you down to the beach."

"Aw. You should've told me they had a beach nearby. I would've brought a swimsuit."

"It's not summer yet, Shepard. The beaches look nice, but that water will give you hypothermia." Kaidan answered seriously.

"A little cold water won't kill me. You're talking to the hero of the Citadel." Shepard gave him a demure smile.

"Yeah. I can see it on the extranet headlines right now. 'The Great Commander Shepard: Frozen to Death. Friends are sad but not surprised.'"

Shepard laughed. "Fine. I'll abide by the local's advice." She returned her gaze to the passing landscape. "We should've brought Liara with us."

Kaidan smiled. "Did you see Liara geek out over the prothean archives Hackett allowed her access to? I think we're going to have to drag her away from the research facilities by the time we have to leave."

"She's missing one hell of a beautiful view."

Kaidan stole a quick glance at Shepard. She was in Civilian clothing, wearing a clean white t-shirt with a pair of worn cargo pants. Snug on her head was an ancient baseball cap, which was frayed at the edge of the bill. Her sable-colored hair was tied into a short ponytail through the back of the hat. He didn't think he could find such casual clothing to be so...sexy.

"Yeah. She sure is." He murmured.

Shepard stretched her arms and clapped her hands. "All right, Kaidan. Give me the lowdown on your parents before I meet them."

He grinned as he kept his eyes ahead. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Basics first. What are their names?"

"My mother's name is Kaitlyn. My dad's name is Daniel."

Shepard paused and slowly turned to Kaidan. "_Kaitlyn_ and _Daniel_…?"

Kaidan cringed and heaved a sigh. "Yes."

"_Kaitlyn_ and _Daniel_, huh?" She reiterated.

"Yes, and it's exactly what you think it is. That's how they named me."

Shepard held back the giggle that was trying to escape from her throat. "That's amazing. I didn't know that's where your name came from."

"Whatever." He grumbled.

"Do you know what they would've named you if you were born a girl?" She asked playfully.

"…Danilynn." Kaidan answered begrudgingly.

Shepard broke out into laughter and Kaidan elbowed her, his hands still on the steering wheel. "Okay, okay. It's funny. I get it. Ha ha. Stop it."

"Okay, I'll stop." Shepard took in a deep breath to suppress her laughter. "But that's got to be one of the cutest things I've ever heard in my life."

"Next question." Kaidan said, trying to change the subject.

Shepard was tempted to continue to tease him, but decided to let it go. "Okay…your dad was Alliance, right? What was his title?"

"Major Daniel Alenko."

Shepard nodded. "I'll do my best to behave then."

"Don't worry about my dad. He's retired now." Kaidan squinted as something outside caught his eye. "And speak of the devil, there he is right now."

The car began to slow as it drove off to the side and into a dirt road up a hill. At the end of the road, Shepard saw a long paved driveway of red brick in front of a large estate home. The house was designed to be both rustic and modern, with its wooden exterior and tall glass windows. To Shepard it appeared to look like a two-story hunting cabin.

On the driveway, she saw a robust middle-aged man working on a rusted red truck, which looked to be older than he was. As the car slowly approached the driveway, the man stepped back from the truck and held his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

"Kaidan?" The man shouted, walking up to them.

Kaidan parked the car and turned off the engine. He swung open the door and his face broke into a wide grin. "Hey, dad."

Daniel Alenko strode over and pulled his son into a large bear hug. "Good to see you're still alive, son." He stepped back and noticed Kaidan's female companion unbuckling her seatbelt. "And your friend…"

Kaidan quickly went over to the passenger side of the car and opened Shepard's door for her. As she stepped out, Kaidan made the introductions. "I told you about her when I called earlier. This is…"

"No need to tell me. This would be Commander Shepard." His father wiped the oil off his fingers with a rag he pulled out of his pocket and held out a hand.

Shepard took his hand and gave it a firm shake. "Major Alenko."

"None of that. Just call me Dan." He grinned.

Shepard found herself smiling back with ease. Kaidan's father was just an older version of his son. From their build to their height, it was obvious that they were related. In a few years, Kaidan would most likely inherit the peppered silver hair on his temples and the creases by his eyes whenever he smiled.

"The kids are all here, by the way." Dan let out an exhausted breath. "Careful, it's spring break and they're releasing all the crazy they had pent up while in school."

"Kids?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan turned to Shepard to explain. "Their nieces and nephews…my cousins. They're all in elementary school."

"They're all horrors, Shepard. Even though you fought an army of geth, these kids are a different level. You want to watch yourself." Dan warned.

"I think I can handle it." Shepard smiled.

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you wake up screaming from the sheer terror that they inflict on you."

Kaidan opened the back door and grabbed their duffel bags off the seats. "So is mom with them?"

"Er…the kids should be out in the yard. Your mom's inside…" Dan looked at the house. "Entertaining a guest."

"Oh? Friend of hers?"

"Actually, son, it's a friend of yours." Dan replied.

Kaidan exchanged a look with Shepard before turning back to his father. "I'm not expecting anyone else. Who is it?"

Dan simply gave an uncomfortable shake of his head and went back to his truck, sticking his head under the hood. "Just see for yourself. I'm just going to stay out here for a while, working on his hunk of junk."

When Shepard gave Kaidan a puzzled glance, he simply shrugged in response. "Come on. Let's get inside and unpack."

As they walked up the path leading to the entrance, Shepard asked, "Do you know anyone that would drop by to visit?"

"Maybe it's someone from the base." Kaidan deduced. "I'll take care of them real quick and I'll take you to your room."

"Hm…and I assume you'll then take care of me?" She asked provocatively, her eyes flirting.

Kaidan chuckled. "The best I can."

They got to the front step and Kaidan walked up to the old-fashioned wooden door. Muttering, "I really wish they would upgrade this house", he pushed a button to the side to ring the doorbell.

After a few moments, the door flew open and his mother stood before him with a wide smile. "Kaidan! I missed you so much!" She threw her arms around her son.

Kaidan dropped the bags to his side so he could embrace his mother. "Hi, mom." He stepped back and gestured to Shepard. "This is Jane Shepard, my Commander back on the Normandy."

Kaidan's mother was a woman with a slight figure, with kind amber eyes and golden brown hair to her shoulders. She warmly took Shepard's hand into hers. "Welcome to our home, Shepard. I'm glad you're here. I'm Kaitlyn."

"It's nice to meet you, Kaitlyn." Shepard smiled, hoping her hands didn't feel too rough against Kaitlyn's delicate skin.

"Dad said we have a friend of mine here?" Kaidan asked, picking the bags up from the ground.

"Yes. We're actually having some tea, right now." Kaitlyn moved aside as they stepped into the house.

"Well, who is i-" Kaidan suddenly froze and Shepard bumped clumsily into his back.

"Ow. What's wrong, Kaidan?" Shepard rubbed at her nose and looked up to see who he was staring at.

In the living room, Shepard watched as a beautiful woman fluidly stood up from the couch, her lovely face lighting up with anticipation. "Kaidan."

"Rahna…"

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks again for your support! I love you Shenko fans ^_^

On a side note, I've been getting several recent messages to pick up my other ME story...I was seriously thinking about just dropping it, but everyone's been so supportive, I think I'll try to finish it up as soon as I can. So thank you again! I love Garrus as much as I love Kaidan so I'm glad others feel the same! XD


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Shepard watched the gorgeous woman stroll over to Kaidan and embrace him warmly in a hug. "I'm so glad you came back safely, Kaidan."

"Rahna…" Confused, Kaidan dropped his duffel bags and took a step back. "What are you doing here?"

Kaitlyn was the one to answer his question. "It seems that she was in town to assist her father in some ambassador duties with the Alliance Military. Isn't that amazing? Her father is a Prime Minister!"

Rahna blushed beautifully. "It's just another job to him. I try to help him in any way I can to lessen his burden."

"Don't be modest, dear." Kaitlyn took Rahna's hand and gave it a pat. She turned to Kaidan. "Since she was in town, she thought she would be able to see you if she visited us. It's incredible timing that she came the day you were going to visit. Almost like…"

"Fate." Rahna finished for Kaitlyn, her eyes never wavering from Kaidan's.

Kaidan threw an awkward glance at Shepard. Her expression was one of slight interest as she silently stood beside him. He cleared his throat and gestured to Rahna. "Shepard, this is Rahna…an old friend from BAaT. Rahna, this is Commander Shepard."

"Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre." Rahna smiled and held out a hand. "It's an honor to meet the hero of the Citadel."

Shepard returned Rahna's polite smile as she shook her hand. "It's a pleasure."

"Are you here to meet Kaidan's family?" Rahna inquired.

"Actually I'm going to be staying for the weekend."

"Oh…is that part of your duties as a Commander?" Rahna asked with a fascinated tone of voice.

Kaidan, sensing a metaphorical gauntlet being thrown to the ground, quickly interjected. "I invited Shepard stay with me while we were all on shore leave."

Rahna's eyes quickly darted back and forth between Kaidan and Shepard. "I see. Well, I guess it's quite customary when an officer gets close with her subordinates."

Shepard's face held the appearance of courtesy as she inclined her head. "For me, it is."

Kaitlyn Alenko, oblivious to her son's discomfort, happily laid a hand on Kaidan's arm. "You came just in time. I was just about ready to serve dinner. Your father has invited another one of his military acquaintances to join us."

"Uh, who is it?" Kaidan asked, keeping his eye on Shepard.

"He's a soldier that worked under your father a few years ago. He's a lieutenant, just like you. The boy probably needs a warm meal…all you Alliance types seem to need a few good pounds." She gave Shepard a good-natured pat on her stomach.

"You don't have to go out of your way for me, Kaitlyn."

"Don't be silly. I love cooking." She replied. Suddenly, Kaitlyn's eyes lit up and she turned to Rahna. "Why don't you join us for dinner?"

Kaidan stiffened. "Mom…I don't think you want to inconvenience her…"

"Oh…I've intruded enough, Mrs. Alenko." Rahna said graciously.

"Nonsense! Any friend of Kaidan's is welcome at our table!" Kaitlyn insisted.

"As long as I won't be a bother…" Rahna shyly said.

"It's no trouble at all!" Kaitlyn exclaimed.

Kaidan visibly winced. He still couldn't comprehend what was going on. Shepard simply stood beside him with the indecipherable pleasant look on her face.

Kaitlyn turned her attention back to her son. "Kaidan, why don't you go ahead and take your bags to your rooms. Rahna, go ahead and finish your tea. Shepard, how about you have a seat with her and I can pour you a cup?"

Before Shepard could reply, a deep voice from behind answered on her behalf. "Actually, honey, I'll take Shepard to the back and introduce her to the kids. She hasn't met them yet."

They turned and saw Dan step in from the entrance way, joining them in the living room. Kaitlyn nodded at her husband. "Oh, you're right. Shepard, Daniel can take you to meet the children out back. They're all such angels. You'll love them."

Dan looked squarely at Kaidan. "Don't just stand there and be useless, son. Do what your mom told you to do and take those suitcases upstairs."

Kaidan hesitated and looked at Shepard again. She gave him a subtle nod letting him know she'll be fine. Dan clapped a heavy hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Come on, Shepard. Follow me."

Kaidan watched his father lead Shepard away as Kaitlyn merrily clapped her hands. "I'm going to finish up in the kitchen and we'll all get together for dinner. Go ahead and sit back down, Rahna dear. Our other guest will join us soon and we'll be done in no time."

"You're too kind, Mrs. Alenko. Thank you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help." Rahna responded with a gentle smile.

Kaitlyn beamed back and hurried off to the kitchen to prepare, leaving Kaidan and Rahna alone in their living room. A heavy stillness came between them for a minute.

Rahna was the one who broke the strained silence. "I didn't mean to meddle with your holiday, Kaidan."

"No, it's okay." He bent down to pick his bags off the floor.

"Let me help." She reached down, giving Kaidan a full view of her breasts from the low cut sundress she was wearing.

Kaidan jerked away as he grabbed both bags. "No thanks, I'm fine. You can just…uh…stay here."

As he quickly stomped up the stairs, Rahna watched him leave, her eyes focused on his muscular back. She smiled to herself as she slowly strolled over to a glass vase perched on a nearby end table. Earlier, she had observed Kaitlyn lovingly arrange a bouquet of fresh pink tulips from her garden into the vase as she babbled on about her son's return.

Rahna ran a finger carefully along the soft petals of one of the blossoms. Kaidan Alenko was a loyal man, but he's still just a man. Whatever bond he has with Shepard was new and fresh, like the first flower of spring.

Rahna's fingers snapped off the stem, sending the tulip blossom to the floor. And just like the first flower of spring…it could be easily broken.

She trod the tulip underneath the thin heel of her shoe.

And crushed.

* * *

_Angels_, Kaitlyn had called them.

As five screaming children grabbed at her legs and waist, climbing onto her like a tree, she couldn't help to think about what Kaidan's mother had called them.

She could think of several names to call the kids…but _Angels_ wasn't one of them.

As soon as Dan had introduced her to his brood of nieces and nephews, they all began to jump and shout in excitement.

"You're Commander Shepard? No way!"

"Did you fly here on your ship?"

"Kaidan is part of the crew too!"

"How many geth heads have you smashed in?"

"Can I see your gun?"

At least it was good to know that she was popular outside the Alliance. It gave her another reason to stay on the military bases.

"All right, all right!" Dan finally stepped in to rescue Shepard from the impromptu dog-pile she was trapped under. "Why don't you guys give the Commander a minute to breathe? Go bother your aunt."

The children shook their heads in unison. "No way."

Dan lifted one of his nieces off of Shepard's shoulders. "Why not?"

"She's with that scary lady." She answered honestly and the others nodded in agreement.

Dan sighed heavily. "I don't want you saying things like that around company. Now leave us alone for a bit. Adults need to talk."

After a minute of moans and whines, the children finally complied and ran off to play on the battered playground at the far end of the yard.

Dan brushed the footprints of dirt on Shepard's back. "Sorry about that, Shepard. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"It's okay. It's been ages since I've been around kids. I don't recall them being so crazy…but maybe it's because my inner psyche blacked out those memories to keep my sanity." Shepard joked as she rolled her shoulder.

"Yeah...it's no wonder why our sisters unload them on us every chance they get." Dan grumbled. "If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn't have retired."

"You can always come out of retirement. I'm sure the Alliance could always use a few more Alenkos."

"It's a nice thought…but I'll have to pass. The missus would kill me."

They both shared a brief laugh and returned their attention back on the children. Two of the boys were playing kick-fight while dangling off the monkey bars and the three girls were each on a swing, trying to race and see who could go over the bar.

"Thank you, Major." Shepard murmured, her eyes still on the kids.

"For what?"

"For getting me out of that situation back there."

"You're welcome."

Shepard turned to him. "How did you know?"

Dan snorted. "You don't spend a life in the military without being able to sense when something is about to go FUBAR, Shepard."

"Yeah." She nodded, frowning. Even though Rahna was perfectly sweet the entire conversation, Shepard couldn't help to feel a slight aura of threat radiating from her. "To be fair, I think she wasn't expecting Kaidan to arrive with another woman."

"She shouldn't have been expecting anything. She's the one who came without an invitation." Dan replied bluntly. "I don't like that woman."

Shepard was taken aback by his sudden statement. "That…was honest."

Dan shook his head. "I'm not like my wife. I can't accept everyone I see with open arms. I pride myself in being a good judge of character. Something about that woman seems off. Never mind the fact that she and my son went to that damned brain camp."

Shepard refrained from mentioning that Rahna and Kaidan used to be more than friends back then. She simply tried to make light of the conversation. "Wow, Major. If you don't like that polite young lady, I wonder what you think of me."

"I like you, Shepard." He said without hesitation.

She looked at him skeptically. "You do?"

"I told you, I'm a good judge of character."

Shepard laughed and waved him off. "I think you say that to anyone in the Alliance military."

"Only the ones who save the galaxy." He kidded.

Shepard decided she really liked Daniel Alenko. Not only did Kaidan resemble him physically, but it seems that he inherited his father's comfortable nature.

Kaitlyn appeared from the door behind them. "Dinner's ready. Honey, can you get the kids?"

"Sure." Dan turned to his wife. "Is the lieutenant here yet?"

"Not yet. Don't worry, I set him a place at the table in case if he's late. Come on in and we'll start eating." She said as she went back inside.

Dan spun around and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Dinner's ready, kids! Get washed up and come to the table!" He bellowed.

"We don't need to wash up!" One of the boys yelled back and the others audibly agreed.

"Oh, yes you do!" Dan shouted, taking a intimidating step towards their direction. "Don't make me drag you all to the bathroom and force that soap on you!"

The children simply laughed at his empty threat and kept playing. Shepard stifled a grin. "They're obviously terrified of you, Major."

Dan let out a frustrated sigh. "Brats. I was hoping to do this the easy way." He took a brief moment to look Shepard over. "You know, you look a little dirty yourself."

She glanced down at her filthy clothes. "Yeah, I guess this is what happens when five kids tackle you down to the ground."

Dan slowly grinned. "How would you like to be my personal hero?"

"Excuse me?" She blinked.

Dan turned back to shout at the children. "Hey, kids! Commander Shepard said she's going to wash up with you!"

The children paused for half a second before scrambling off their playground and made a stampede rush towards Shepard, screaming and cheering.

"Oh, God." Her last words left her lips before the cluster of chaos crashed into her.

* * *

The doorbell chimed as Kaidan helped his mother place the silverware on the table. "Will you get that, Kaidan?" She asked from the kitchen, her hands busy with putting the final preparations on the meal.

"Sure." He placed the last fork down on a placemat and briskly walked towards the door. He tried not to look at Rahna who sat contentedly on the sofa, sipping her tea.

He opened the door and saw a heavily muscled man standing before him. Kaidan cautiously eyed the tattoos on the man's neck and upper arms. If it wasn't for the Alliance uniform he was wearing, he wouldn't even be able to tell he was a soldier. The man gave Kaidan a casual salute. "Hello, I'm here for Major Alenko."

"Oh, right. He's been expecting you. Come in." Kaidan moved to the side.

"Thanks." He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "You're the Major's son, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I'm Kaidan. Nice to meet you." He held out a hand.

The soldier shook it with a nod of his head. "Good to finally meet you too. The Major speaks about you often. Name's James Vega. Hope I'm not too late."

"You're actually just in time."

"Great! I'm starving. Your mom's the best cook around."

Kaidan began to warm to the guy. "Yeah, I think so too."

"The Major said you were going to be here with a friend…" James glanced over Kaidan's shoulder.

"Huh?" Kaidan turned around and saw he was looking at Rahna. She was staring back at him with courteous interest. "Oh. Uh…this is Rahna, an old friend. She's not the one I came here with, but she'll be joining us for dinner too."

James inclined his head towards her direction. "Ma'am."

Rahna nodded back with a smile. "Nice to meet you."

"Lieutenant!" Dan strode in from the back, a wide grin on his face. "Glad you could make it!"

James clasped his hand and gave him a brief hug. "Major! It's good to see retirement hasn't killed you off yet."

"It's a slow process." Dan laughed and turned to Kaidan. "This boy was a subordinate of mine back at the New York base. He's a hell of a soldier. He can handle a rifle like nobody's business."

"Really?" Kaidan looked at James, who merely shrugged indifferently.

"The Major's exaggerating."

"I'm not. You should put in a good word with the Commander. Get him stationed on the Normandy." Dan suggested.

James' eyes widened and he quickly faced Kaidan. "The Normandy? You're stationed on _the_ Normandy?"

"Yeah, I've been part of the Normandy crew for the past several weeks." Kaidan answered.

They could see the shock registering on James' face. "So your Commander is…"

"Shepard!" One of the girls yelled. "You missed that spot of dirt on your face!"

"Oh yeah? Maybe I'll wipe it on your shirt. Come here!"

They all turned to see Shepard trudge into the room with a giggling child attached on every limb. Shepard had a squealing girl in her arms, tickling her in the ribs as she shrieked with delight. As soon as she looked up at their guest, she visibly froze in place. The children noticed her pause and let go of her arms and legs, wondering why their playmate had suddenly stiffened.

"Hey, Shepard." Kaidan gestured to James. "Let me introduce you to…"

"James." Shepard whispered.

"Lola…" James murmured incredulously.

Dan and the children, stood back, confused at the sudden tense mood between their guests. Rahna leaned forward in her seat, engrossed with the situation.

Kaidan looked rapidly between Shepard and James. "So…I guess you two know eachoth-"

Shepard launched forward, and before anyone could react, she punched James in the face.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait! XD As always, I really appreciate your kind comments!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Everyone gawked as James fell to the floor. Before Shepard could dive on to his fallen body, Kaidan hastily gripped his arms around her waist to hold her back. "Shepard! What are you doing?"

She thrashed savagely. "Let me go, Kaidan!"

"Yeah! Get him, Commander!" The children cheered her on from behind.

Quick on his feet, Dan stepped in front of the kids and began to usher them back. "All right, that's enough excitement for all of you. Get to your aunt in the kitchen. Now!" As the children whined in protest, Dan looked over his shoulder at his son. "Kaidan, get them to another room!"

"Right!" Kaidan huffed as Shepard elbowed him in the ribs, trying to break free from his grip. "Shepard, get a hold of yourself!"

Rahna ran over to James, who was slowly sitting up, trying to get his bearings. "Are you okay?" She held out a helpful hand.

James waved her off. "Yeah, I'm okay…I think."

"Not when I'm done with you, you asshole!" Shepard hissed through her teeth.

"The hell is wrong with you, Lola?" James slowly stood up.

"Let's take this into another room. Come on, Shepard!" Kaidan ordered, glancing behind him. Even though his father had pushed his cousins out of the room, he could still hear their objecting moans.

"We wanna see the fight!"

"Yeah! Go Commander!"

Shepard continued struggle against Kaidan's grasp, swearing and scratching at his hands. With a fluid sweep of his arm, Kaidan lifted her over his shoulder. "Let me go!" She angrily pummeled her fists against his back.

Kaidan ignored her griping as he turned to the others. "James, follow me. Rahna, go tell my parents that everything is under control."

Rahna reluctantly nodded in response. She watched Kaidan stomp up the stairs, carrying his angry Commander over his shoulder, while James followed him.

"Kaidan, if you don't let me go, I swear I'm going to punch you in the neck!" She snarled at him.

"You can do that as soon as I get you away from all the witnesses." He grunted as he led them into one of the guest rooms. He tossed her onto the bed and she quickly scrambled to her knees, ready to pounce again. Before she could leap at James, he stepped between them.

"Out of the way, Kaidan." She said menacingly.

"Before you spill blood in my home, could one of you tell me what's going on?" Kaidan asked them both, keeping himself firmly planted between them as a buffer.

"I don't know what she's so loco about!" James rubbed at his bruised jaw and threw a look at Shepard. "If anyone has the right to be pissed off, it should be me!"

"What? You've got to be kidding!" Shepard let out a short derisive laugh. "Why would _you_ be pissed off at _me_?"

"Will you _please_ tell me how you know this guy?" Kaidan asked her, exasperated.

Shepard glared at James. "He's the bastard who cheated on me."

"What?" Kaidan and James exclaimed simultaneously.

Shepard slowly sat up on the bed. "I walked away without doing anything that night, and it was my biggest regret in life. But now that he's here, I'm going to have to kick his ass. So, Kaidan…" She turned to him with a deadly expression. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

"What are you talking about, Lola? I never cheated on you!" James stepped forward.

"Bullshit! I walked in on you fucking another woman!"

James shook his head in confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"The day before my transfer, my commander let me go off-duty early so I could prepare for my departure. I came to our apartment and saw you in bed with a woman pinned under you!"

Kaidan turned to look at James, only to find him completely baffled. "That wasn't me!" James denied adamantly.

"That's what they all say." Shepard responded heatedly.

"Lola, that's impossible. I was gone early that morning and didn't come back until late evening. I waited for you to come home all night and you never showed! I had to ask around the next morning to find out that you just left without saying anything to me or anyone!"

"Impossible, my ass! I guess you have an alibi?"

"I do, yeah!"

"Who?"

"Anderson." James said flatly.

His answer rendered her speechless for a second. She shook it off and narrowed her eyes at him. "What about Anderson?"

James awkwardly shifted in place. He glanced at Kaidan who simply stood mutely to the side. James let out a heavy sigh and met Shepard's hard gaze with tired eyes. "I was with Anderson for most of that day."

"How? Anderson wasn't even stationed at the base."

"I know. I drove two hours out to meet him at the Alliance base in Phoenix."

"What were you doing with Anderson?" She asked warily.

"I had to ask him something." James muttered.

"Ask him what?" She pursued.

James threw up his hands and yelled, "I was fucking asking for his fucking permission to fucking marry to you, all right?"

At those words, Kaidan felt his blood run cold as the color drained from Shepard's face. She was as still as a statue, unable to even move her lips to respond.

Kaidan took a dry swallow and turned to James. "You were going to propose to Shepard?"

"Yeah." James crossed his arms and stared uncomfortably at his shoes. "I figured that if I was going to take that leap, I was going to do it all the right way. Anderson is basically her father, so I made sure I would ask him face to face rather than over a comm link."

James raised his eyes to gaze at Shepard. "Anderson wasn't going to be Earth-side until the day you before you left, so I made sure to go after him as soon as I got the chance." James let out a dry laugh at the memory. "Shit, he scared the hell out of me. Lectured and threatened me for what seemed like hours. Next thing I knew, we were in the officer's club, drinking down a bottle of mezcal to celebrate. Anderson got me onto a late evening shuttle back to our base."

James' mouth turned into a thin line. "If you had said yes to my proposal, Anderson was going to arrange it so that I would join you at your new base. But I got home, waited all night, but you never came. Just left all your things behind and didn't say goodbye. I tried to call you a hundred times but you blocked me from every single one of your comm channels and returned all my emails."

"Anderson never said anything to me." She whispered.

"Anderson thought the same thing I did. We both figured that you somehow found out that I was going to propose and you bolted away before I got a chance to do it. You know, cold feet. He probably figured it was best to play ignorant since it was your business and all. I never would have thought the reason you disappeared was because you thought I was stupid enough to cheat on you."

"So…if it wasn't you that Shepard saw, then who was it?" Kaidan asked quietly.

James took a moment to think about it and then swore when the realization hit. "Damn it. I think I know. Lola, do you remember Bobby from the old squad?"

She slowly nodded and James let out an angry sigh. "That morning, I gave Bobby the spare keycard to our apartment. Since you were leaving the base, the commander was moving me back to the barracks since the units were specifically for couples. Bobby was next in line to get the place with his girlfriend and he asked me if he could grab a look at it before they moved in. Bet you anything that it was them having themselves some thrill sex in our bed. Culo!" He swore and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Do you expect me to believe that?" Shepard asked, her ire rising.

"Well, what the fuck do you believe then?" James shot back. "I just gave you an alibi…two of them if you count Bobby! It pisses me off that you threw our relationship out the hangar over a damned assumption. If you thought it was me in bed with another woman, then why the hell didn't you bust into the room and kick some cajones?"

Shepard winced and looked away. She recalled it too easily. The flash of pain stabbing at your heart, discovering the person you loved was with someone else. The tears burning under her lids as the image seared into her brain. "I don't know. When it came to fight or flight, I went with the latter."

"Well, I'm glad you took the rational route." James said sarcastically.

Shepard glared at him balefully. "You could still be lying."

"Doesn't matter now. If you punched that guy in our bed like you did to me a few minutes ago, we wouldn't even be having this damned conversation. If you excuse me, I'm going to ask the Major for some ice for my jaw." He said irritably and trudged out the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kaidan and Shepard remained in silence for several minutes. He looked over at Shepard and saw the tempest of emotions running across her face. She was now sitting cross-legged on the bed, clutching at the quilt underneath her hands.

Everything she had believed about her former first love has been shattered into thousand pieces. She was left to pick up the broken shards, searching for something that resembled the truth.

Kaidan saw the pain in her eyes and tried to ignore the unsettling sensation battering against his gut. "Shepard." He said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She replied lifelessly.

Kaidan gently reached down to take hold of her chin, brushing his thumb against her cheek. "It's a lot to take in."

"Yeah…it is." Shepard murmured and met his concerned gaze. "Kaidan…could you leave me alone for a few minutes?"

"Sure. Take all the time you want."

Kaidan bent down to kiss her gently on the forehead. He left the room and quietly closed the door behind him. He leaned his back heavily against the door and took a deep breath. He didn't know what to do or what to say.

Damn it, how was he supposed to act in a situation like this?

From inside the room, he heard Shepard's faint muffled voice through the door. "Anderson? Are you busy? I have something I want to ask you about…"

Kaidan took another steady breath, ignored the sinking feeling in his chest, and walked away.

* * *

Dan had coerced his nieces and nephews to grab their plates and eat outside. He was able to buy their compliance with promises of ice cream as long as they behaved themselves for half an hour. With Shepard still shut in upstairs, the rest decided to start eating in the dining room.

Kaidan picked at his food as he stole glances at everyone else around the table. James held an ice pack to his face as he shuffled the roast beef around his plate. His mother was trying to lighten up the atmosphere by engaging in small talk with Rahna. His father was taking frequent sips from his coffee mug, which Kaidan assumed was laced with liquor.

Kaitlyn, who didn't witness the disastrous event firsthand, turned to James. "You haven't even touched your meal, sweetheart. Does it not taste good?"

"Oh." James lifted his head, broken out of his reverie. "No, it's great, Mrs. A."

"Does your jaw still ache? I know you Alliance soldiers are rowdy, but you really shouldn't be rough-housing while you're inside the house." Kaitlyn chastised.

Kaidan looked at Dan, who took another long swig from his mug. Apparently 'rough-housing' was the story his father had given his mother.

"Yes, ma'am. And don't worry, your food is great as always." And to prove his statement, James began to shovel food into his mouth.

"I think it's quite amazing." Rahna smiled at James before turning to Kaitlyn. "That he and Shepard knew each other from long ago before. It's an incredible coincidence that they met here today."

Kaitlyn nodded. "It is, isn't it? Tell me, James. How did you and Shepard know each other from before?"

James swallowed down the food in his mouth before he answered. "We…uh…were both in the same squad when we were recruits."

"You must have been very close." Rahna said thoughtfully.

James lowered his eyes back down to his plate. "Uh…I guess so."

Kaitlyn's eyes softened as she gazed at James. "You know what? I think you and Shepard would make such a lovely pair."

Kaidan and his father both choked on their drinks at her comment. Dan put down his mug and turned to his wife. "Honey, don't say odd notions like that. You'll make the boy feel weird."

"Why not? I'm just saying that they both suit each other." Kaitlyn replied, clueless to her son's discomfort.

"I agree." Rahna concurred and looked at Kaidan. "Two people reunited after so many years. It's very romantic."

Before Kaidan could change the subject, James spoke up. "The Commander and I just knew each other back then. Simple as that. Nothing romantic about it."

"Aw, James…" Kaitlyn started.

James gave her a crooked smile. "Sorry, Mrs. A. But she _is_ an interstellar hero. She can find someone better than me." His eyes quickly went to Kaidan and darted back to his mother. "Besides, I need to keep myself free when you finally decide to leave your husband so we can run off together into the sunset."

"Oh, you." Kaitlyn giggled as she waved James off.

Feeling a mixture of relief and guilt, Kaidan watched his father amicably swat James on the back for his joke. He found himself laughing along with them.

Rahna laughed as well, but her gaze never left Kaidan's face.

* * *

After they were finished with the meal, Kaidan helped his mother clear the plates off the table while Dan made good on his promise to the children and called them all to the truck to take them out for ice cream.

In the kitchen, Kaitlyn wrapped up a plate of food and set it to the side. "Shepard still hasn't come down yet. Should I take the plate up to her?"

"You don't have to worry about it, mom. She…was on an important call with a Citadel Councilor." Kaidan murmured, stacking the dishes into the washer.

"It must be a very daunting job to be a Spectre." Kaitlyn sighed.

"Yeah, guess it is."

James stepped into the kitchen. "Hey, Mrs. A. I'm sorry that I won't be able to stick around for dessert. I just got a message from my captain. I need to head back to the base as soon as possible."

"Oh, that's too bad." Kaitlyn frowned. "We hardly see you anymore."

"Sorry. I'll stop by again the next time I'm in town. I'll send the Major a message to let him know I had to go while he was gone."

Kaitlyn gave him a hug. "Make sure you do. Stay safe, darling."

"I'll see you out." Kaidan threw the dishtowel in the sink.

As they passed the dining room, James nodded to Rahna who was still sitting at the table. "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

Rahna smiled and raised a hand to bid him goodbye. "The same. I hope we meet again."

As they approached the front door, James turned around to shake Kaidan's hand. "Thanks for having me over, Lieutenant. Sorry for the craziness."

Kaidan shook his head. "Nothing to apologize for."

James briefly paused. "And…take care of Lola…I mean, Shepard, for me…will you?"

Kaidan widened his eyes in surprise. "You know?"

"I'd be a lousy soldier if I didn't have an instinct about these things." James grinned wryly.

Kaidan shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm…sorry."

"Shit happens." James shrugged, trying to mask the grief coming through his indifferent façade. "Just treat her good, okay?"

"James."

They both turned to see Shepard coming down the stairs. She walked up to James, straightened her shoulders, and took a deep breath. "One punch."

James blinked. "Huh?"

Shepard folded her hands behind her back. "I'm giving you a free shot…anywhere you want, go for it."

James glanced at Kaidan, who returned his confused expression, and turned back to Shepard. "What do you mean, Lola?"

Shepard evenly met her eyes to his. "I'm sorry for punching you earlier. To make up for it, you can take a swing at me."

James crossed his arms. "What brought this on?"

"I…spoke to Anderson. We talked for a while. I was wrong. I'm sorry, James." Shepard mumbled her apology.

James let out a small chuckle. "It's okay. I guess one of these days this'll be a great story to tell while I'm drunk."

Shepard squared her shoulders again. "I'll feel better if you give punch me. Do it."

"You're kidding me, right?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Punch me, James. I outrank you now. It's a direct order." She stated and squeezed her eyes shut.

James looked at Kaidan again, who merely shrugged. James sighed, made a fist, and stepped forward. "All right. Here it comes."

Shepard braced herself for the hit. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes, and James lightly chucked her in the chin. Before she could protest, He gave her a familiar impish grin and turned around to leave.

"Later, Lola. Take care of yourself." He called over his shoulder as he strolled out the door.

After the door closed, Shepard felt her chest agonizingly tighten against her heart. She shakily wrapped her arms around herself, trying to make sense of the painful desolation that suddenly came stabbing at her being.

Kaidan watched the gloom wash over her sea green eyes and slowly reached out to take her into his arms.

From behind, Rahna cleared her throat and they both spun around. She flashed a beautiful smile, "Mrs. Alenko wants you to know that dessert is ready."

"Oh…right." Kaidan turned to Shepard. "Uh…my mom set a plate aside for you if you're hungry."

"Yeah." Shepard took a deep breath to stop any tears escaping from her eyes. "That sounds great."

Rahna sympathetically tilted her head at Shepard. "Mr. Vega seems to be such a nice gentleman. I'm sorry that he had to leave so quickly. He spoke nothing but sweet things about you. You must have been very close."

"Yeah." Shepard grimaced from the pain gripping her chest again.

Kaidan saw the anguish return on her face and turned to place a reassuring hand on her arm. Before it could touch her shoulder, Rahna stepped up and gently took Kaidan by the hand. "Come on, Kaidan. Your mom said she wanted your help again."

Unable to reply, Kaidan allowed Rahna to lead him away.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry that my updates have been getting to about every week, but I've been trying to make them longer as they go XD

And please don't worry, James will be coming back to the story. =)


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